


Danny’s Demise

by RebelClown



Category: Asking Alexandria, brusnop
Genre: Asking Alexandria - Freeform, Band Fic, Ben Bruce - Freeform, Ben Bruce/Danny Worsnop - Freeform, Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Cameron Liddell - Freeform, Comfort, Danny Worsnop - Freeform, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, James Cassells - Freeform, M/M, Multiple Pairings, One True Pairing, Rape, Rape Recovery, Romance, Sam Bettley - Freeform, Sam Bettley/James Cassells - Freeform, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, brusnop - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-23 23:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 36,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelClown/pseuds/RebelClown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny and Ben have been friends for ages, both secretly in love with each other but both to scared to say anything, however when Danny turns Ben down one night, Ben's whole life turns into a spiral of self hatred, but can Danny's love bring him out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Danny's Demise

We ran off the stage dripping in sweat, the show tonight had been amazing the crowd went wild for us, they sang along to all our songs and the guys played awesome especially Ben the way he stroked the strings on his guitar and then when he opened his mouth the sounds that came out were just beautiful, I wish I could make him make beautiful noises. Okay so if you haven’t already figured it out I have a huge crush on Ben Bruce.

Hi I'm Danny Worsnop and I have a crush on my best friend!

We were all backstage now; everyone was congratulating each other and changing out of their sweaty stage clothes, my eyes fell on to Ben as he pulled his tee shirt over his head, wow his body. There was only one word to describe such a thing and that was, perfect. My eyes scanned slowly over every inch of his body, his torso was so smooth looking and his tattoos were such a turn on. The things I would do to him if we weren't in a packed room, and well if he was gay. Next he slid his jeans off; he was wearing such tight boxers which made mine even tighter. I could clearly see he was huge under the very thin material that was covering him. He quickly looked up and noticed me staring   
“Danny why are you staring at me” he asked, Shit busted.   
“Umm I wasn't”, Ben raised his eyebrows at me, “I umm I was just daydreaming”. Yeah great one dickhead.   
“Haha yeah whatever you say worsnop”, he answered with a cheeky smile.


	2. Another bottle down

Nothing more was said after that we all had a few drinks and something to eat and then went out the back to meet a few fans that had waited hours just too see us, we took some pictures and signed some autographs then we got on the bus. Everyone drank fuck loads of alcohol but I just wasn't in the mood, I didn't want to get too pissed and end up make a twat of myself in front of Ben, so I just sat on the sofa while everyone drank and so called ‘danced’ but to be it looked like they were just grinding up against each other. I wouldn't mind Ben grinding me, No stop think of Ben grinding you, do you want to get a hard on with everyone around. I averted my eyes away from Ben, for now anyway but now all I could think about was Ben, why did it have to be him? , why not someone that would like me back, or is that too much to ask, I guess so.

 

Next thing I know Bens sitting in my lap, he started giggling then and said

“heya Danny, hehe I think I’m sitting on you” he slurred, then he did his adorable little smile, where only one side of his baby pink lips turn up, I just wanted to kiss him so badly just once but then he would freak and probably never talk to be again, then I would have to leave the bad because I don’t think I could handle, never hearing his voice talk to me again. So instead I just looked at him, then I realised I had been staring at him for quite a while now and I hadn't answered his question, yeah great one Danny.

“Haha yeah I guess you are, soooo you having fun?” I asked him.

“Yes loads I've made out with loads of girls and one bowed me” that whipped the smile of my face, thinking about some blonde bimbo getting the chance to blow Ben, lucky bitch. Ben looked at my saddened face “what’s wrong Danny? You all sad looking and you haven’t danced all night or even finished you beer”, I mumbled a nothing hoping that a drunk Ben would just drop it and go back to fucking some girl but no luck. “Yes there is you always drink fuck loads when we have parties and you always end up banging loads of chicks, are you okay?”, it was sweet that Ben was thinking about me but I couldn't exactly say ‘oh yes there is something wrong I just want to fuck you brains out but I can’t because you straight’. So I just opted for a yeah everything’s fine, but then Ben brought his lips to mine and stated kissing me, I had kissed Ben before on stage and stuff when we was messing around but this time it was, slow. It was like he actually meant was he was doing, his one hand went round the back of my head so I couldn't pull back even if I wanted to, and trust me I really didn't. His other hand slipped under my tee shirt, he started rubbing his hand all over my chest, I let out a moan, that's when Ben started sucking his way down my neck and his hand went to my jeans, he undid my belt buckle. That’s when I realised what was happening I pushed Ben away, not because I wanted to but if I didn't I knew what would end up happening and I didn't want to take advantage of Ben when he wasn't in his right mind. I looked at Ben’s face which was only a few centimetres away from mine, he looked so sad and hurt; I had done that to him. “Why did you push me away” he asked sounding like a little kid when they have done something wrong. “Don’t you like me?” great well that’s made me feel like shit,

“ Ben's it’s not that it’s just you pissed and when you sober in the morning you will regret everything trust me” I told him.

“No I won’t I want you, now “he started planting more kissed down my neck, wow his lips felt wonderful against my skin like they were meant to be there. But no I could let this happen even if I wanted it so badly,

“no Ben you will, and I won’t take advantage of you like this” I pushed Ben of my lap and onto the sofa, I then left the tour bus I need some space so I could think.

Shit it was freezing; I had been walking around for a few hours now without a jacket, and I all I had done was replay what had happened with me and Ben over and over in my head, why did I push his away? When I wanted it so badly. It wasn't like Ben wasn't going to fuck someone tonight so why not me. Yup it’s official I'm a dickhead.

I didn't want to go back to the tour bus and face Ben or any of the others for that matter, thank god I had my wallet on me so I went and stayed in some shitty run down motel, it stuck of piss and the walls were so this I thought the people shagging next door was going to end up coming through the wall. I made it do after all it was only for a night and a long night it was going to be.


	3. Self destruction is such a pretty little thing

ben’s pov

 

Why would Danny push me away like that? I thought he liked me. Well I sure as hell likes him and I wasn’t even that drunk so he would of actually been taking advantage of me. I wonder where he had gone. Properly to fuck some Stanger, it some shitty motel. After what happened with Danny I didn’t feel like partying anymore, so instead I just went to my bunk to try and get some sleep which was pretty hard when Carmon was fucking some girl above me just lovely. For fuck sake could they be any louder, I finally got to sleep thinking and dreaming about Danny.

 

I woke up late the next day, everyone else was already awake, I got out of my bunk, the tour bus looked like a fucking tip with all the bear cans on the floor. I dodged my way through it all and into the living area where everyone was I quickly scanned the room but no Danny,

“hey has anyone seen Danny”, everyone shook their head. Then Sam came up to me

“hey hey, you and Danny finally got it on last night I saw” he winked at me, Sam was the only one that knew that I liked Danny.

I bowed my head and said “well we started to but then he pushed me away and left” I could feel my eyes starting to water Sam saw to and he pulled me into a hug “he don’t like me Sam, well not like that anyway” I started full on crying them. Sam pulled me into the bunk area knowing that I didn’t what people to see my break down.

“Hey, now I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that” he told me

“well why did he run away then huh?”.

Sam’s smile despaired “I don’t know what goes on his head, but trust me he’s a dick if he lets someone as special as you go, right”. I just nuzzled my head into Sam’s neck, knowing there was nothing remotely special about me, I’m not good looking, or have any talent, there’s not wounded Danny pushed me away. “Now go get cleaned up and I will fix you some breakfast okay” Sam smiled at me then nudged me into the bus bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror “worthless fat, ugly piece of shit” I whispered It was no wounded Danny pushed me away he didn’t was me anywhere near him. That’s when I saw It out of the corner of my eye the shiny piece of metal, I picked it up and turned it over in my hand a few time then I brought it to my arm and pressed it in. I pulled it along my skin, it hurt like a mother fucker at first but after a few times I felt so much better like all the pain was pouring out of me. I washed the razor and put it bake then I looked at my arm, the bloody red lines made up a word ‘worthless’. I washed my arm and got rid of the bloody; I grabbed a hoodie and chucked it on to cover my mater piece.

 

I went out of the toilet, I could smell eggs cooking. Which made me want to throw up; I refused to eat them when Sam brought them to me on a Plate. He moaned at me saying I should eat something but couldn’t he see that all that food would just make me even fatter that I already was, and then who would want me.

 

 

Danny walked through the tour bus door “here he comes after a long night of ‘hard work’” James said laughing.

“Haha your so fucking hilarious” Danny said hitting James over the head.

“Ouch what was that for? It’s the truth” James said innocently while rubbing the back of his head,

“for you information I didn’t fuck anyone last night, I just stayed in a motel because I didn’t want to hear you lot getting fucked all night”. Danny said with a smirk, well that made me feel a little bit better, Sam nudged me and smiled, I smiled back at him.

“See everything’s okay he didn’t fuck anyone, now please eat something before you waste away all together” Sam ordered me.

“I’m just not hungry is all” I told Sam.

“Danny please tell Ben to eat something” Sam asked. Danny’s eyes fell on to me, he looked at me like he pitted me, then he smiled such a sweet smile.

“Ben eat something”

“but I don’t want to, can’t you lot just drop it already I can feed myself you know”. Danny walked over to be and sat down

“what’s wrong with you? Your always eating, don’t you feel well” his hand came up to my forehead to feel for a temperature , it felt nice having his hand on me but it was soon gone. “You are quite warm, why don’t you take this hoodie off its boiling in hear”. I started to let his pull my hoodie off when I remembered my arm I quickly pulled it back down

‘’no, no I’m not hot it’s okay” I said trying to re ensure him

“yes you are”

“no I’m not”.

Danny stared at me then grabbed the plate of eggs of Sam and stated cutting them up, he put some on a fork and brought it to my lips.

“urmm what the fuck you doing?” I asked him.

“Well since you won’t eat anything I guess I will just have to feed you” he said with an annoying smirk on his face.

“Fuck off Danny I’m not Hungary”, I stood up and stormed off to the bunks.

 

 

Danny pov

 

What was wrong with ben, he’s never acted like this with me before. Wait, no, he couldn’t of, no he couldn’t have remembered what had happened last night could he. Oh god he properly hates me and thinks I’m some sort of sicko who wants to molester him. I needed to talk to him but what would I say, after about ten minutes of sitting on the sofa think about things I could say to Ben to make it all better I finally got up the courage to go talk to him, I got to the door of the bunks, took a breath and entered.

 

 

Ben’s curtain to his bunk was closed “urmm Ben are you awake?” He said nothing but I could hear him crying even though he was trying to hide it. “Ben I just want to talk to you, look I’m sorry if I made you feel like a twat back there, it’s just I worry about you is all”. He was silent for a bit then he said in a small voice.

“you worry about, me”. Of shit did I really just tell him that I worry about him, I could feel my face getting hotter.

“well, urrr, I guess in a way, yeah”. Ben pulled back the curtain.

“that’s sweet of you, but there’s really nothing to worry about” he said with a smile. He looked so adorable and innocent just lying there with his tear stained face

“you mind if I get in” I asked he nodded and moved over. We just lied there like that in silence for a while, it wasn’t an awkward silence, it felt just right. I turned on my side and looked at Ben; he looked so upset, like he had last night which made me feel even worse remembering it. I put my arm over him so I was hugging him “what wrong Ben, me and you never fight what’s changed”. Ben turned onto his side as well so we were now facing each other, faces only inches apart. A tear fell down his face I caught it, and pulled him closer he nuzzled his head into my chest.

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to talk about it” I said I could feel his tears falling onto my chest and soaking my t-shirt.

“Fine but as long as you’re okay” I felt him nod, we didn’t talk after that we just lay there until we fell asleep.


	4. You need a doctor baby, you scared?

Danny pov

 

A few weeks had passed me and Ben was back to normal, me crushing over him but not having the guts to say it and well Ben he was just same old beautiful, funny, talented Ben. Well a few things had changed about ben and that was he was hardly eating which made me worry about him even more, he wouldn’t tell anyone what was wrong. He also seemed to be wearing clothes that covered him all up, to my disappointment. I didn’t want to keep pestering him about it in case he got upset again, but I was starting to really worry about him.

 

Ben’s pov

 

I was glad me and Danny was back to normal, it felt weird when we fought. But the only problem was that I still had feelings for Danny and it was obvious that they weren’t mutual. So I am going to change, for starters I’m going to get thinner because I’m too fat, I try not to eat but the guys keep making me so when I eat I just make myself sick and then I take the little razor blade and cut myself with it to take all the pain away. Most of my one arm it cover in cuts now and I’ve had to start wearing hoodies so no one can see them, which is kind of shit when it’s the summer and boiling, but I know if any of the guys found out they would make me get help then kick me out the band and I couldn’t have that so I just kept it my little secret.

 

It was just me and Danny in the tour bus today everyone else has gone out so we were going to just chill and watch some movies. ‘BANG BANG’ “hurry up you’ve been in there ages” Danny shouted as he banged on the toilet door, he had startled me and I had slipped with the blade and made a very deep long cut down my arm. The blood was gushing out, I couldn’t stop it, oh god the bloody was going everywhere

“Shit” I shouted.

“Ben what’s wrong” I heard the worry in Danny’s voice from the other end of the door I didn’t answer “ben let me in mate”. I opened the door.

“Danny I’m scared it won’t stop” I saw Danny’s eyes grown bigger as he looked at my arm “I didn’t mean for it to happen, I just slipped, please make it stop” I pleaded and started to cry.

 

Danny’s pov 

 

Ben’s arm was covered it cuts; he had a massive one down his forearm blood was gushing out of it. He had his hand over it trying to stop the blood escaping as he stood there crying, looking at me with big helpless eyes. “Please make it stop” he begged.

“it’s okay, it’s okay” I tried to re-ensure him I steered him so he was sitting on the toilet

“I’m sorry Danny I didn’t mean to do it” he said as he sobbed, I held his arm up in the air, I think that’s what you are supposed to do when you cut yourself.

 

“I know now shhh stop crying it’s okay”. Ben calmed down a little bit and the bloody was slowly stopping. Once the blood had stopped gushing out I cleaned all the bloody off of ben’s arm and bandaged it up for him. Ben sat there in silence as I cleaned the bathroom of his blood. 

 

Once I had finally cleaned all the blood up, I stood up and pulled ben up off the toilet with his good arm, I then sat in his place and pulled his back down so he was sitting on my lap, I rapped my arms around his tiny figure, trying to comfort him the best I could. We sat there for a bit in silence, I was trying to think of what to say I finally settled on “why?”

Ben simply said “why what”.

“You know what, why do you do this to yourself ben, hurting you self-please explain it to me”.

He lowered his head and said “I don’t know to get rid of the pain I guess, it nothing really”, my mouth fell open.

“you call this nothing! You have cuts all over your arms and I have just had to stop your arm from bleeding ben”.

“I’m sorry” he said quietly “please don’t be mad at me”, I hugged him tightly

“I’m not mad, you just scared me”.

“I’m sorry, but please don’t tell anyone especially not the guys”

I signed “fine I won’t tell them but this stops right now, do you promise”.

Ben nodded “I promise”.


	5. forced out of love

Ben’s pov

Me and Danny spent the rest of the day watching movies, we mostly watched comedies, I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood a bit. We sat on the sofa me with my head on Danny’s lap and his arm dangling over my body, to most people we properly looked like a happy couple, if only. “Ben will you answer me truthful if I ask you something?” I nodded informing Danny to carry on. “well I know that you self-harm” that word made me shudder but I nodded, “well you also don’t eat much, do you, urmm starve yourself as well?”. I didn’t think that I was staving myself I just saw it as cutting down, like a diet I guess.

“Well not really, I’m just sorter dieting to get a bit thinner is all” I answered him. Danny pushed me up so I was no longer lying on him, he looked me straight in the eyes

“but why would you need to diet, your already way too skinny as it is”.

“No I’m not I’m fat and need to lose weight, everyone can see it”, I tried to keep back the tears; Danny has seen me cry too much recently.

“Now listen the fuck up ben, you are already too skinny, you don’t ever need to lose any weight, you hear me”, I heard what Danny was saying but that didn’t change my mind I was going to carry on what I was doing weather he liked it or not.

 

Danny got up and went to the kitchen area he grabbed some snacks and brought them back to be, he then sat crossed legged, I did the same so we was facing each other, “now you are going to eat something okay” he ordered me, just looking at all the food made me want to puke, no I could’nt eat all of that It will make me fatter.

“Danny I’m not hungry” I pleaded with him

“don’t start that shit with me you have to be hungry I haven’t seen you eat in days now” I was now crying he was going to force me to eat all that fat.

“Please don’t make me”

“shhh, please don’t cry, it’s just that you are really worrying me now, I don’t want anything to happen to you is all, and at the rate you going you won’t be around much longer” Danny said truthfully. I locked up at him; he really was a sweet person when he wanted to be.

“look nothing’s going to happen to be I’m fine” I smiled at him

“well if you fine you will eat something, like a normal person would”. Danny grabbed the packet of Doritos and opened them he pulled one out and put it in his mouth then he picked another one up and brought it to me lips. I stared at him his eyes where pleading and he mouthed a ‘please’, I slowly open my mouth, Danny pushed it in. I chewed it as fast as I could it didn’t taste right or feel right in my mouth, I swallowed it and smiled at Danny

“happy?”

He smiled back and said “yes, now come here”, he pulled me into a hug then let me lie back down on his lap. I’m glad I made him happy even though the food wouldn’t me inside me for much longer.

 

Me at Danny didn’t talk much after that we just watched more movies, it was nearly eight when everyone else came back me and Danny was still in the same position, me with my head in his lap with his arm dangling over me. “Aww it’s the love birds” Carmon announced as him and the other guys came walking in.

“shut up” Danny said throwing a cushion as Carmon’s head, he ducked and the cushion fell on to the floor.

“shit throw worsnop” Carmon laughed and stuck his tongue out. I went to move of Danny but he held onto me so I couldn’t move, like I would want to anyway.

“So what you two been up to while we’ve been out “Sam asked while coming and sitting on the sofa, next to me.

 

 

I looked up at Danny worried, would he keep his promise or would he tell everyone that I’m fucked up in the head. Danny smiled at me “we just watched some movies, didn’t we ben” Danny said

“yeah” I answered quietly.

“Awesome, so what do you want to eat? I’m cooking tonight” Sam asked us smiling; I lowered my head I don’t think I could handle eating anything else.

“Cook whatever Sam we don’t mind” Danny answered

“okay off to the kitchen I gooo” Sam said then pretended to fly off even though it was only a few feet away.

Me and Danny laughed at him, “Danny I don’t think I can handle eating anything else” I said quietly, he looked down at me and smiled.

“sure you can, just try and eat a bit, it will make you feel better trust me”. I did trust Danny but this time he was wrong I knew if I ate anything it would make my mouth feel funny and then I would just bring it back up, but I nodded at Danny. We just sat there comfortable in each other’s presence while Sam cooked; James and Cameron played some video games.

 

 

“Foods done” Sam announced loudly, “its spaghetti and meat balls your guys favourite”, Sam had cooked enough food to feed an army, great. Sam put some on plates for everyone and then gave everyone a plate full. Everyone tucked it while I just sat there staring at the huge amount on my plate, Danny saw my discomfort and whispered to me

“is it too much”, I nodded he took the plate of me and took it to the kitchen he took half of the food off my plate then passed it back to me. Everyone looked at Danny confused but didn’t say anything “that a bit better” he asked I nodded .

“thank you” I answer. He carried on eating while I started to rap the spaghetti around my fork; I slowly placed it in my mouth and chewed. I was right it didn’t taste very nice or did it feel rite eating it, but it made Danny happy so ate a bit more. I felt full after eating a few fork full of it.

Danny smiled at me “I’m so proud of you, I told you, you could do it” he beamed at me.

“haha guess you’re always right aren’t you” I replied smiling.

“You know it” he said with a huge grin on his face , then he quickly pecked me on the cheek, I loved at him confused he just looked scared but then I smiled reinsuring him and then his face lit up, maybe I was wrong, just maybe Danny liked me as much as I liked him.


	6. don't leave me with myself

Danny’s pov

For once we had a calm night, just a few drinks, some movies and chatting. Quite strange really, when asking Alexandria is supposed to be the heaviest rock band around and we are just lying around having a nice chit chat. We even turned in early for once Ben was first saying he was tired, then James and Carmon went. This just left me and Sam, he came and sat next to be “urmm Danny can I ask you something?”, “yeah ask away” I told him. “Well do you like Ben?” his question took me by surprise I thought no one knew that I liked him, was it really that obvious. “well of course I like Ben his my best mate” I said smiling “you know I don’t mean like that” he said my smile disappeared, he carried on speaking “it’s you and him seemed really like close tonight and well if you don’t like him will you not give him the wrong idea, he can’t offered to get hurt”. Wait did Sam know about Bens problems or was he just looking out for his mate, “look Sam yeah I guess I do like him, like a lot. It’s just he don’t feel the same way” I answer lowering my head. I looked up when I heard Sam laughing “what’s so funny?”, “it’s just your so wrong, bens mad about you but he though you was straight, he didn’t want to ruin your friendship so he never told you” Sam said still laughing, I could feel my mouth handing open, ben had liked me all this time but I thought he was straight with all the girls he fucked. “Sam please tells me you are telling the truth and not just fucking with me”. “Look mate, ben told me himself, and I guess by the look on your face you like him to”, I nodded “well good but please don’t tell him I told you” Sam asked “yeah, yeah I won’t thanks” I hugged Sam and then went off to bed.

I had been lying in my bunk for a while now I couldn’t get to sleep, not knowing that ben actually felt the same way about me, that means I had a chance. After a bit I had calmed down and was nearly falling asleep when I heard quite sobs, I listen they were coming from bens bunks which was opposite from mine. I slid out of my bunk and slowly pulled back curtain on bens bunk , he lying rite up against the wall in a tight ball, sobbing. “Ben” I said quietly “heya bud what’s up” he didn’t answer so I slid into his bunk and lay down next to him. He turned over so he was facing me, he was holding his bad arm “my arms killing me please make it go away” he looked at me with pleading eyes. I took his arm out of his hand; he had taken the bandage of and had made it bleed again. I looked at him “why did you do this? It’s all bleeding again” I asked him he just shrugged “come on lets go get it cleaned up again” we got out of his bunk me holding his arm up. We got in the bathroom; I sat him on the toilet just like I had this morning and started cleaning the blood of his arm, I put a new bandage on it then kissed it. “Now you leave it on this time okay, or it will never get better”. Ben didn’t look at me, his head was hanging and he was still crying, I tilted his head up so he was looking at me “I’m sorry Danny” he said “don’t me sorry it’s not your fault okay, not come on we got a show to play tomorrow we need or beauty sleep” I said smiling. Ben never smiled back; he just looked so sad and lifeless. I pulled him up of the toilet and embraced him in a hug; he rapped his small arms around me and nuzzled his head into my chest. We just stood there like that for a bit.

I pulled Ben back into the bunk area and helped him into bed, I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand, “please don’t leave me with myself” there really was something wrong with Ben, more than he had told me. I nodded and got into his bunk with him; he curled up rite against me and nuzzled his head into my chest “thank you for not leaving me Danny, and I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up”. “It’s okay Ben I’ll never leave you okay and you’re not a fuck up” I told him “love you Danny” “love you too Ben, now go to sleep it’s a big day tomorrow”.


	7. I want to do bad things with you

Danny’s pov

I woke up in the morning Ben still in my arms, he looked so adorable, when he was asleep, I quickly placed a kiss on top of his head since he was asleep. “Danny can you please not get you saliva in my hair” ben said then started giggling, he looked up at me our faces were so close I could feel his hot breath on my face “urmm hi” he said looked embarrassed. “Haha heya, how you feeling today?” I asked Ben, his smile disappeared of his face “good, I really am sorry about last night, I don’t know what happened” he said not evening making eye contact with me. “Look its okay, you’re going through shit and I know that but I also know that you’re going to get better” I told him smiling. He looked up at me then “do you really think so?” he asked sweetly, “of course I do, your one of the strongest people I know and well you helped me when I needed it so I’m going to do the same for you”. Ben was about to answer me back when our tour manager came shouting for everyone to get up and that we had sound practise. “well I guess we should get up” ben said smiling “but I don’t want to, me still sleepy” I said trying to sound cute, “that’s not going it work now move it” ben said nudging me “urgghh fine” I said then slid out of the bunk, I waited while ben put his hoodie on then we got the rest of the guys and headed off to the venue.

Sound practise went great I had a feeling tonight was going to go well, through the whole of practise I couldn’t take my eyes off ben he was struggling his arm must have been killing him and it didn’t help that he had to wear a hoodie when it was boiling I didn’t know how he was going to survive tonight. After practise we headed back to the bus to chill, “ben you know you can’t wear that on stage tonight” he looked at me, panic in his eyes “but, but I have to or people will see my arms”. I put my arm around him “shhh don’t worry we will find you something to wear that’s not as thick but will still cover them don’t worry, it’s just you will end up passing out if you wore this”. He calmed down after I said this and nodded.

When we got back to the bus me and ben set out looking for something he could wear, all Ben seemed to own was vest tops and a few hoodie. “Well I think I might have some long sleeved tops, but they will be huge on you” I told ben. We looked through my clothes I was right I did have some long sleeved tops, ben settled on a black one. “I told you it would be massive on you” the top was several sizes too big. “Well I like it, it’s all snug and smells like you” he went a deep shade of red when he said that. Before he could say anything else I pulled him to me and crashed our lips to one another’s. At first Ben didn’t respond and I thought Sam had been just fucking with me and Ben didn’t actually like me but soon his lips were moving in sync with mine, I couldn’t help but smile in between the kiss “will you stop smiling your ruining the moment” ben said taking his lips away from mine, “haha I’m sorry it’s just I’ve been waiting to do that for fucking ages now” I admitted. Ben looked at me “same”, I grabbed the back of bens head and brought his lips back to mine. “it’s about fucking time you two” we both stopped and separated it was Sam standing in the door way of the bunks “like I thought it was never going to happen and I would just have to hear ben moaning about how much he liked you all the time”. I looked at ben he was as bright as a tomato now, “you really like me” I asked ben. “Of course I do” he answered me. Out lips came back in to contact then, *wolf whistle* off Sam, I gave him the figure and chucked some piece of clothing at him. “Fine, fine I’ll go” Sam said while leaving.

Ben pulled away after a while “urmm Danny sorry to ruin the moment and everything but what does this urmm make us?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment, “Well I guess together, but only if that’s what you want” I asked I hoped to god that it was. “I would love for us to be a thing” he said beaming at me, I returned the smile and then reattached my lips to his, I ran my tongue along him bottom lip asking for entrance, Ben opened his mouth and I slid my tongue in it. We were starting to get into our little make out session when “YOU GUYS BETTER NOT BE FUCKING IN THERE BECAUSE IM COMING IN!” Cameron shouted from the other end of the door, I signed and Ben laughed “no but we might of, if you hadn’t of interrupted”. Cameron swung open the door “that’s nasty don’t ever fuck when I’m round, oh god now I have pictures of you two fucking in my head thanks a lot” he said signing. Me and ben looked at each other then burst out laughing. I went up to Cameron and put my arm round him “don’t you like the thought of me and ben going at it like bunnies huh?” Cameron looked at me then ben “oh got eww” he said and ran out of the bunks. Me and ben giggled “you’re so mean” ben said I shrugged. “Guys what did you do to Cameron?” James said popping his head round the door “nothing just, talked” ben said “yeah sure, anyway do you two want to come chill with us instead of being in here” James asked. “Yeah whatever” ben answered “but I want to stay in here and do, ‘stuff ‘with you” I said winking at ben making him blush. “Come on Danny” he stated pulling me out of the bunks then whispered in my ear “later”.


	8. Some people just don't want help!

We had ended up watching movies for the rest of the day; ben was lying down with his head in my lap while I played with his hair. The guys would occasionally look at us; they didn’t say anything, just smiled then turned back to the TV. “So are you two together or something now?” Cameron said after a while. I was about to answer but ben beat me to it “yeah, do you guys… mind”. He sounded so cute when asking the guys what their opinion was but also I could see he was scared of their reaction. “No we are happy for you actually, you both might stop fucking random girls now” James answered, “oh don’t worry I won’t be wasting my time fucking them anymore” I looked down at ben and winked; he looked up at me and smiled. The guys all looked awkward when I said this and just turned back to watching the TV. I lowered my lips to bens and placed a gentle kiss on his lips “I’m glad they support us” I said “me too I thought they wouldn’t at first” ben replied.

We got in the van and headed to the venue “ben mate why the fuck you wearing that? It’s going to be boiling inside” James said pointing to the long sleeved top that ben was wearing. “Just felt like a change, it won’t be that hot” ben answered with a smile, I saw Sam looking at ben with worry on his face, I’d have to keep an eye on him, I couldn’t let anyone find out about bens problems, he just wasn’t ready.

We drove up to the venue the crowd queuing went all the way around the building they screamed when they saw the van pulling into the backend on the building. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a good en tonight, did you see how many people are here to see us” James said, we all nodded in agreement.

“FIVE MINUTES” someone shouted

Only five minutes till we went on, it was our biggest show yet, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, what If I messed up and ruined everything, okay I was panicking now until. Someone came and hugged me from behind; I turned my head to look at them it was ben smiling up at me “you look nerves” be said sweetly, “fuck really” he nodded. “Well it is our biggest show yet” I told him “don’t worry about it you’re going be fucking amazing, like always”, I turned around and put my arms around bens lower back “thank you”, I told him then kissed him lightly on the lips. “Stop fucking making out you two and move we are going on stage” Cameron said nudging us toward the forward. I quickly pecked ben on the lips before he ran onto the stage, with the guys and then me, who came on last.

“HELLO, YOU SEXY MOTHER FUCKERS” I screamed into the microphone, the crowd went wild when I said this. “NOW YOU LOT BETTER BE READY TO GO FUCKING MENTAL BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE AMERICAN AVERAGE! ONE…TWO…THREE…FOUR……Come on baby”.

The set went amazing; I kept an eye on ben throughout it. There was finally a spark in his eye which he has lost over the last few weeks, he was doing so well but nearing the end of the set he looked like he was going to faint. As soon as we had finished out last song and thanked the crowd I went over to him and put my arm round his waist for support. I helped him backstage and sat him down and gave him some water “you alright?” I asked him “yeah just a bit hot, is all” ben answered. I gave him a sad look, but he just smiled. Ben grabbed a hoodie out of his bag “I’m going to the toilet to get changed” he told me, I nodded.

We were all chilling backstage and having a few drinks. Ben had ended up sitting on my lap for some reason but I didn’t mind. “Heya guy’s great show tonight, you smashed it” or tour manager said “well for a treat and since you’ve got no shows for a few days, you stopping in a hotel”. We all cheered at the good news. “So go to the tour bus and get you shit and a car will pick you up”. We all mumbled a yes then headed off to the bus.

Sam’s pov

I had been watching ben a lot recently, and I could tell there was definably something wrong with him. It all started after Danny pushed him away that night, he hasn’t been the same since. He’s not eating and he’s acting different around everyone even me and were best mates. The only person he seems to be close to now if Danny, and tonight when I knew something was most definably wrong. Ben would never wear something like that onstage, when he knew it would be boiling and then afterward he looked like he was about to pass out. I know he won’t tell me what’s wrong but maybe Danny will.

Danny’s pov

I was in the bunks packing my stuff when Sam came in and shut the door. “Heya Sam”, “hi, urmm Danny can I asked you something?” Sam said. “Ask away” “well you know how bens bee acting well different recently, well I just want to know if there something wrong with him” same asked me. Shit show did he work it out I knew he was watching, was do I say I can’t tell him because ben had asked me not to. “Nope there’s nothing wrong with him” I quickly said. Same looked at me straight in the eyes “fine, it’s just that I worry about him is all” he said, “I know you do”. “so if there is something and you not telling me, well I guess will you just try and help him if that’s what he would prefer” same said with a sad look on his face. I nodded and that was it Sam walked out the room and I was just; left with my own thought.

How exactly was I going to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?


	9. I'm sorry

Dannys pov

I decided not to tell Ben that Sam was on to him, he didn’t need the worry about someone finding out about his problem.

We all go in the taxi that would take us to the hotel; I slid in next to Ben and put my arm around him. I put my lips to his ear and said “we need to talk”. Ben looked at me worried “about what”. I smiled at him “don’t worry I will tell you later”.

Ben pov

What the fuck did he really think he could say that then expect me not to worry. Oh god I bet he has realised it was all a mistake and that he don’t like me, and that he just felt sorry for me. I bet he don’t even like guys, really. Why did I fool myself? Thinking I could have someone as perfect as him, haha thinking someone like him would even go for someone like me.

Dannys pov

We pulled up at the hotel it was not some nasty motel like that one I had stayed in a few weeks back no this one looked amazing. We all hopped out and grabbed our bags. We got to the front desk, “hello and welcome to the Hilton hotel” the women on the front desk said in a high pitched voice. “Heya urmm were asking Alexandria, we are bucked in” Sam told the woman. “Oh yes the band, well here’s your key and you’re in the penthouse” she told us. We quickly thanked her and headed off to the room.

“You two better not be thinking about fucking tonight” James said looking at me and ben worried, everyone started laughing “I’m not even joking, I really don’t want to hear you two at it like animals in the middle of the night”. “You can’t stop us” I said to James sticking my tongue out at him “pleaseeeee don’t” he whining. Before I could replied we got to the top floor which was the penthouse. “Fucking hell it huge” I said. Everyone mumbled a yeah, while looking around.

“Okay so everyone go get a fucking room” James shouted then everyone scampered off except me and Ben “want to share” I asked ben pulling him into my arms. He nodded, there was something wrong, I could see it in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He mumbled “nothing” then said he was going to the bathroom. There was something definably wrong with him, but I guess I will find out later when we talk. I watched as he walked off to the bathroom then I set of to find us a bedroom.

Ben’s pov

How could he be all nice with me when he’s going to dump me later? I got into the bathroom, and looked into the mirror. I looked a mess, there was no wonder Danny was going to dump me, he wouldn’t want people to know he was going out with someone that looked like this.

I know I promise Danny I would do it again but what did it matter now, he was going to dump me anyway. I grabbed the blade out of the cabinet, I really wanted to end it all and go straight for my wrists but I was to chicken, so I ended up just doing a few cuts on my lower arm. They weren’t too bad so the bleeding stopped quite quickly. I was just putting my hoodie back on when someone knocked on the bathroom door. I opened it, it was Sam. I said hi and tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arm “ben can you just stop and talk to me” he asked. “Yeah sure what’s up” I asked him. “You, what’s wrong with you, and don’t dare say nothing”. “What do you mean, there isn’t anything wrong with me, I could be any happier” I said with a forced smile. “Ben I’ve knows you for years now, and you use to tell me everything but nowadays you barely even say hello” Sam said with a sad look. “look there is nothing at all wrong with me and I’m sorry we haven’t had a properly talked in a while it’s just I’ve liked Danny for ages and now that we’ve finally together, well I don’t now I just want to spend as much time with him as I can, before it all ends” I told him I guess it was sort of the truth. “are you worried that it’s going to end between you and him because if you are, you really don’t have anything to worry about his mad about you” Sam said then pulled me into a gripping hug, I hugged him back “thank you” I whispered “any time” he said back . We stayed like it for a few minute before we broke apart. “Rite, so are you coming out with us lot then?” Sam asked me smiling “na properly just going to stay in and chill” “okay cool” Sam replied then went off to his bed room. I had really missed talking to Sam, but I felt bad that I couldn’t tell him the whole truth.

I walked off to find the room Danny had picked for us, I finally found it “finally where have you been?” Danny asked me as I walked into the room; he looked like an excited little kid. “Just been talking to Sam” I told him, his faced dropped “oh, what about” he asked me “just stuff, urmm why are you so excited looking” I asked him. He started giggling “I don’t even know”, then Danny walked over to where I was standing and picked me up, I was going to protest but fuck it, if he was going to dump me, I minds as well treasure what time I have left with him. So I wrapped my legs around his waist as he started kissing me, he dropped me on the bed next and learned over me, he started kissing me more roughly now then he moved onto my neck. The pressure of his leg on my crouch was making my jeans tighter. I was getting so into it that I didn’t remember my arms as Danny pulled of my hoodie.


	10. Won't let the blades come between us

Bens pov

“You promised” Danny said I quickly opened my eyes, Danny was looking at me “you said you wouldn’t do it again ben, you promised me” I looked down at my baseless arms, my new cuts has started bleeding again. I didn’t realise it but I had started crying.

Danny’s pov

I was angry now how could he do it again when he had promised me he wouldn’t? I stood up “why did you do it” I didn’t realise that I had shouted it until ben jumped and looked at me, he looked so scared but at this point I was too angry to care “please tell me because I really don’t have a fucking clue, you were so happy, I thought you was even getting better, but no you go and fuck yourself up a little bit more, why!” I shouted at him hoping to get an answer this time. No luck he just shrugged and let his head hangs again “fucking give me an answer ben!” “I was scared” he whispered. I calmed down a bit at this, I went and sat back on the bed with him, he jumped when I put my arm around him “shhh I’m sorry for shouting” I said and pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head. “Now why were you scared” I asked him. “I feel stupid saying it now” ben said quietly “don’t feel stupid, just tell me”. He tuck a deep breath and said “well when you said we needed to talk, well I thought that you were going to tell me it was all a mistake and you didn’t actually like me, and well I got scared, I don’t want to be alone Danny” ben finished. I put my hand under his chin and pulled it up so he was looking at, I then whipped the tears off his face and said “now you listen here ben, I will never leave you okay. You mean way too much to me, and when I said we needed to talk I meant about this” I said pointing to his cuts “oh, I feel like such a twat” ben said. “don’t” I told him smiling “now am going to go get the first aid kit and clean this up okay and then we are going to talk” I smiled and squeezed his hand then set off in search of a first aid kit.

“Danny what the fuck is you and ben doing” Cameron said as I came out of the room “just talking everything’s fine don’t worry” I reassured him “umm okay, well us lot are off now we will be back urmm whenever” Cameron told me, I nodded and went to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit.

Ben’s pov

Why am I such a twat? I made Danny all angry and interrupter our could have been amazing sex time. I was deep in thought when Danny came back holding a first aid kit “what you thinking about” he asked “just how much of a dick I am” I answered he giggled “you’re not a dick, just very stupid” he said then sat down opposite me. “Haha jezz thanks”, “my pleasure” Danny replied smiling “now pass me your arm”. I did what I was told and passed him my arm, he stated cleaning the blood away, “you’re getting to be a pro at this” I said “I wish I wasn’t” Danny replied with a sad look on his face. “so what did you want to talk to me about” I asked Danny “well it was about all this, before I thought I could help you, you know like if I talked to you more about it and stuff but now I’ve realised it’s not going to be enough you need someone that actually knows what they’re doing” Danny said. “I think you’re doing a good job”, “if I was doing a good job then you wouldn’t of done this would you” Danny replied lifting my arm up. “I’m sorry for doing this I really am but please don’t make me go see someone they will think I’m mental and you know what happens to mental people? They get put it mental hospitals where they get so drugged up there not even a real person and more, just a lifeless body” I told Danny I broke down at just the thought if going to a mental hospital. Danny pulled me into his arms and shushed me “please Danny don’t make me” I pleaded with him “fine, but ben you can’t carry on like this I mean it because next time I will have no choice but to okay” Danny said. “I promise, I promise I won’t do it” I said and rapped my arms around Danny “thank you”.

Dannys pov

I really didn’t know how I was going to help ben but seeing him so upset, well there was no way I couldn’t at least try and help him. I finished cleaning bens arm up, he went to put his hoodie back on “you’re not wearing that” I told him he look at me confused “why not”. “Because we are going to bed”, I stood up and pulled my top over my head and chucked it onto the floor then I slipped my jeans off so I was just in my boxers, ben sat there looking confused “look Danny I don’t want to do anything just yet, I don’t want this to all be just another fuck” ben told me. “Same, that’s why we aren’t going to be doing any fucking we are just going to go to bed” ben smiled at me. “Now stand up” I ordered him, he did what he was told and stood. I undid his belt and slid his jeans off too, so he was just in his boxers. I got under the quilt and lay down, I patted the space next to me, ben sat it, so I pulled him into a lying position and so his back was to me. Our legs tangles with each other’s, we lay there in silence for a bit. Until ben, broke the silence.

“This is different” he said, “what you mean?” I asked him confused ben tuned around so he was facing me when I said this “well it’s always just been bout the sex, I’ve never just lay there with someone” he answered me. “What never” ben nodded “what about your first?” nope it was just a quick fuck nothing special, just some random girl at school”. “Ben have you like ever done it with anyone that your urmm loved” I asked him. “Nope it’s always just for fun” I felt sorry for ben “okay then and have you only ever done stuff with girls” I asked, ben looked a bit uncomfortable when I asked this “well I’ve done a few things just not gone all the way”. “Oh” I answered.

We lay there in silence for a while again “I’d like you to be my first” ben said, I looked him in the eyes when he said this “really”, “well yeah, I’ve heard it fucking kills first time and I know you will be carefully and I guess this way I would at least be doing it with someone I loved” he said. “Wait you love me” I asked, “well yes, I do and I know you properly don’t” I cut him off before he could finish “I love you too” I said. “Really” ben asked sounding genuinely surprised. I nodded “of course I love you and I would be proud to be you first”. It felt amazing knowing that ben actually loved me back.

We fell asleep in each other’s arms that night, and I knew that nothing could come between us.


	11. Stop thinking about me naked!

Dannys pov

I woke up the next morning with ben still lying in my arms “ben, are you awake yet?” I asked him, “yeah” he replied. “I like waking up like this, it’s nice” I told him “I know we should do it more often” he said, “I was planning on it” we lay there just looking into each other’s eyes. Until someone started banging on the door “breakfasts done so get your arses out here” it was James “and please wear some clothes” I laughed and looked at ben but he wasn’t even smiling. “What’s wrong” I asked even though I already knew “look you don’t have to eat much just a little bit” he nodded and smiled. Ben got up and chucked some trackie bottoms on while I watched him before he could cover the top part of his body I said “ben come here” he did as he was told and sat next to me on the bed, I took his arm in my hand. There were a few words on his arm one stood out the most. “Worthless, why did you put that?” I asked him, “Because that’s what I am” he answered. “You are not worthless ben; you are the most special person even, especially to me”. He mumbled an okay; I knew he didn’t believe me I could just have to show him how much he was worth.

Ben had settled on trackie bottoms and a hoddie while I decided to just go out in my boxers “Danny please go put some clothes” Cameron shouted while covering his eyes “no one what’s to see that”. “I am hurt” I said acting mock hurt “and I know one person who loves it” I said winking at ben “please you two I’m trying to eat” James said.

Sam put two plates on the table one for me and one for ben, I started to tuck it then I looked up at ben, he was just staring at the plate I whispered in his ear “just try and eat as much as you can”. He nodded and started nibbling on a piece of bacon, I looked at Sam who had been watching ben he smiled a knowing smile, I just smiled back, I think he understood what was sort of going after all he wasn’t stupid. Ben ended up eating a piece of bacon and half a hash brown before saying he was full. “I’m so proud of you” I told him while hugging him. “Thanks” he said back, smiling.

“So what do you lot want to do today then?” Sam asked us all “well we are all definitely going out tonight even you two, but in the meanwhile we could just chill” Cameron asked We all nodded; well I guess were going shopping. Then of to some clubs tonight.

Ben said he was going off for a shower first so I just sat in the kitchen area with the guys talking, even though I was wishing I could be in there with him, getting all wet and soaped up. James hit me over the head “ouch what was that for?” I said rubbing the back of my head, “for thinking about ben in the shower” he answered, shit how he know that. “No I wasn’t”. “yes you so was, you was even drooling” he said with a smirk on his face, the other guys started giggling. I crossed my arms and sat there like grumpy little kid.

“Urmm what’s wrong with Danny” ben asked when he walked into the kitchen. Fully clothed, much to my disappointment. “Oh Danny was just think about you” Cameron answered “aww how cute” ben said hugging me from behind “well he was thinking about you in the shower” Cameron said while laughing. Ben put his lips to my ear and said “you don’t have to imagine it baby”. I felt a grin spread across my face. “okay so once you two are quite finished eye fucking each other well, you go put some clothes on Danny and we will go to the shop and get some booze and some films” Sam order. “But why can’t I just stay like this I comfy” I asked using my best puppy dog eyes, “clothes now, we won’t be long” Sam said as him, James and Cameron walked out the room, leaving just me and ben. I put my arms around bens waist; I pulled him close and started placing light kisses along his jaw line then slowly down his neck. “How you like would to come and join me in the shower “I asked him, “but Danny the guys are going to be back in a bit” ben said. I pulled puppy dog eyes at him, “as cute as that is Danny, there’s just no time but later there will be” he said, I perked up at this new information “yay I can’t wait” I said excited, I pecked ben on the lips then ran off to the bedroom to put some clothes on.

 

Ben’s pov

Me and Danny ended up lying on the couch together, while waiting for the guys to come back. “Danny, are we going to tell people about us?” I asked then looked up at him he was looking down at me. “Do you want to” he asked me, I thought about it “well yeah I guess, but if you don’t want people to know your gay, then we don’t have to”. “Ben I really don’t care what people think about me, I love you and well I would love people to know your mine” Danny answered smiling down at me. “That’s so cute; I can’t wait for people to know your mine either”.

 

Danny’s pov

Ben really was the most adorable creature to ever walk the planet; I couldn’t actually believe he wanted people to know about us, I thought he would have wanted to keep it a big secret. I brought my lips to his as we started slowly passionately kissing, bens hand went up my shirt, his hands roamed all over my torso, wow his hands felt amazing on my body, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip asking for entrance which was granted, my tongue slip inside his mouth, but ben wasn’t easy as out tongues started to battle, mine won of course. We were getting really into it now “WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO” James shouted as he walked into the hotel room “please stop” he begged. Ben got off, of top of me. Looking quite embarrassed, as he went bright red. “like really we was only got ten minutes and you two was basically fucking” James said, “oh trust me James that was not fucking, that was just messing around”, I told him with a smug smile on my face “shut it you”

“So what shit you lot get” I asked them, “fuck loads of alcohol, junk food and some dvds” James said. “Awesome chuck me a DVD to put in them mate” I put the DVD in and went and sat back on the couch next to ben, the rest of the guys came and took a seat and the film began. For the first ten minutes me and ben was just sitting next to each other until, the film started to get scary and ben kept hiding his face in my chest. “Urmm ben, don’t you like horror films?” I whispered in his ear. He shook his head “aww come here”. So I ended up lying down with ben lying in between my legs with his head on my chest, with him jumping every five minutes. He looked so cute when he was scared, poor baby. So over all it was a good day, but I could wait for tonight now that was going to be fucking amazing.


	12. One big sticky mess

Danny’s pov

We left the hotel at about seven that night and got in the taxi to the clubs , me and ben sat together, my arm was around him, and his hand was on my leg, he kept running it up at down, teasing me. “so are you two going to tell people about you two” Cameron asked me and ben, “I think we are just going to let people figure it out for themselves and well if they don’t then we will tell them”, I answered him but the way me and ben act with each other I think people will soon figure it out.

We got to the first club which looked packed with a huge queue outside, “come on LETS GO GET FUCKED!” James shouted, as we piled out the car. Ben grabbed hold of my hand; I gave it a quick squeeze and pecked him on the lips, “come on baby” I told him. He smiled and then I pulled him towards the club.

We didn’t have to wait in line like everyone else, we just went straight in and headed for the bar, we order some drinks, me and ben sat at the bar while the others went off into the crowd to grind up against some girls. I looked at ben, he was looking around the room, looking scared “what’s wrong” I said in his ear but he just shrugged and smiled at me. We had, had a few drinks when this blonde girl came up behind me, she put her arms around my waist and started to kiss my neck and bite my ear, I tried pushing her away put she didn’t budge, then she put her lips to my ear and said “come fuck me baby”. “Look love m with someone” I gestured to ben “so no thank you, now fuck off” I told her. “I can see you want me” she said coming close to me again, “I really don’t, you see I don’t like girls” I told the slaggy looking girl “oh but you’ll like me” she said “I really wont” at that I grabbed the back of bens head and crashed our lips together, in a fierce kiss. After a few minute of me and bens making out looked back at the girl who was, still! Standing there, she looked horrified at what she had just seen “www-wait you two can’t be ggg-gay” she stuttered “well we can and we are love” I said with a smirk on my face, “that’s discussing” she shouted and walked off. I looked back at me laughing but his head was hung, I pulled his chin up so he was looking at me “what’s wrong baby” I asked him, “is everyone going to act like that when they find out” he asked me. “Well some people will because they are dickheads but no not everyone, and especially not the people that are important like the guys” I told ben truthfully. He smiled at this, then kissed me again.

We were at our third club now after we got kicked out of the other two, and it had taken us ages to find another one that would let five drunken twats, with a very bad reputation in but one finally did. After a while though me and ben got bored, there were to many slags that kept coming up to us and asking for a fucking, so we got a taxi back to the hotel and left the others in the club. Me and ben stumbled across the lobby and into the lift up to the penthouse, it didn’t help that I had ben in my arms with his legs rapped around me as we was making out, so it took twice as long because I was trying not to fall and drop him which I’ve found out if quite hard when your pissed and can barely carry your own weight. But we finally made it inside the room; we fell onto the bed, with me on top. Our mouths attached to each other’s with no signs of detaching, fuck breathing. Bens hand went under my t-shirt; he started rubbing his hand all over my torso and back.

 

 

Ben’s pov

Oh god it was finally going to happen, I was going to get with the most beautiful and amazing man ever. There was only one problem with the current situation, too many clothes. At this thought I started to lift Danny’s top up, he quickly pulled away as I pulled it over his head, then he reattached his lips to mine.

 

Danny’s pov

I was glad ben had made the first move, I thought it was going to be left up to me since it was his first time with a guy and everything, but no he seemed to be into it as much as me. So I started to lift his hoodie up, I pulled it over his head and chucked it onto the floor, then I started to roughly kiss my way down his body. Until I got to the top of his jeans, I stopped and looked up at him; I smiled a cheeky grin and quickly undid his belt buckle then his jeans. I slid them slowly down his legs and chucked them also onto the floor. I went back up to his mouth and stated to kiss him again, while grinding against his very hard cock. Ben took his mouth away from mine I looked at him sad “Danny please stop teasing me, I want you, now!” ben said and at this I went back down to the band of his boxers, I grabbed hold of them with my teeth and slowly pulled them down. And wow ben really did have a huge fucking cock; I took the tip in my mouth first, licking around it a few times. I then looked up at ben his head was already tilted back in pleasure, so I thought I would surprise him with taking him fully, into my mouth. Oh the sounds that escaped his mouth were amazing.

 

Bens pov

Danny really did surprise me, I hadn’t expected him to take me fully in his mouth, but oh am I glad he did, he was fucking amazing as blowjobs. I looked down and saw his head bobbing up and down as he quickened his pace; I ran my hands through his hair and pushed his head down further.

 

Danny pov

I could tell ben was enjoying it as he pushed my head down further “SHITTT!!!” ben screamed as he came in my mouth, I swallowed it all, and crawled back onto the bed leaning over ben. “Fucking hell Danny that was amazing” ben said then brought his lips to mine. “Baby that was only starters” I said smiling down at him.

I pulled open the draw next to the bed and got out a condom and lube, I then took off my own jeans and boxer, I put the condom on and looked down at ben. He had been watching me the whole time, he looked nervous “baby you okay, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want” I told him. He looked up at me and smiled “no, no I want to, I’m just scared I guess is it going to hurt a lot” he asked me. “Only for a little bit then it will be good” I answered him honestly, he nodded “I love you” I told him “love you too” ben said then kissed me. “Okay I need you to turn over for me” I told ben, he did as he was told and turned over onto all fours. I put some lube on my figures and spread bens checks “you ready” he nodded “remember the pains only going to last a little while” I told him “I’m ready” he said in a small voice, I slowly pushed one figure in, he tenses “shhh baby it’s okay, relax” he did so after a bit so I continued. After he had gotten used to one I placed two in, he was so tight. After scissoring him for a while he relaxed, I took my figures out of him, and lined my cock up with him perfectly “okay you ready” ben nodded and at this I slowly started to push myself in “FUCK!!” ben screamed “do you want me to stop” I asked him “no carry on, pains only going to last a bit, right?” ben asked “yeah only a bit” I carried on pushing myself in. once I was finally fully in him, I started pulling back and forth slowly, bens face was all scrunched up in pain at first but he soon relaxed and he looked like he was enjoying it.

“Faster Danny faster” ben ordered, which I did of course, my pace increased and so did the sounds coming from bens mouth. To increase the pleasure for him I started pumping his cock “fucking hell I’m going to cum” ben said and with that he came in my hand with me soon following him. I slid out of him and lay next to him on the bed. “that was amazing” I said a bit out of breath, ben didn’t say anything he just brought his mouth to mine “I love you so fucking much Danny” ben said “I love you too ben”. He curled up next to be on the bed and we fell asleep in each other’s arms one big sticky mess.


	13. Gay's the question

Bens pov

I woke up in the morning in Danny’s arms, with him breathing softly as he slept still, we were both still sticky from last night’s activities, I slipped out of his arms and stood up shit the pain my arse was killing, Danny hadn’t warned me about this bit. I limped over to the other side of the room and grabbed a dressing down and headed for a shower.

No one else was up yet I noticed as I walked through the penthouse, so I didn’t bother locking the bathroom door. I jumped in the shower the warm water felt amazing on my skin after being all sticky from last night. Last was amazing finally being with Danny after wanted to for so long, last night also made me realise how much I loved Danny, and how I don’t think I could live without him, I really do hope what we have never ends.

 

Danny’s pov

I awoke in the morning feeling amazing from last night; me and ben had finally done it. I spread my arms thinking ben would be there but when he wasn’t my eyes shot open “ben” I said to the empty room, where the fuck had he gone I asked myself. I got out of bed and went out of our room not bothering with clothes, I could hear the water running in the bathroom, so I decided to cheek in there first, I opened the door quietly and slipped inside. Yup it was ben in there; he was in the shower all wet and soapy fucking hell I was getting hard at just the sight of him.

I opened the door to the shower ben didn’t notice as he was facing away from me and got in pressing myself up against him he jumped at my touch, “heya sexy” I said in bens ear. He relaxed when he knew it was me and leaned back against me “you fucking scared the living shit outta of me” ben said smiling “I’m sorry” I said kissing him he laughed “it’s okay, it was a nice surprise”. I placed my harms around bens waist “I really did enjoy last night” I told ben “yeah same it was amazing” ben said smiling.

The door swung open and James walked in, me and ben froze, he didn’t notice us at first probably because he was still half asleep until he must of realised the water was running and he turned towards the shower “oh my fucking god, you two a-are s-s-s-h-hower fucking” James half screamed at us then ran out of the bathroom. I started manically laughing like an idiot at James reaction. I looked down at ben he wasn’t laughing, I stopped automatically “baby what’s wrong” I asked him “James just saw us naked in the shower” ben said in a small voice “yeah and?” I asked “I’m naked, he saw me without clothes on” ben answered. I looked down at bens body and realised what he meant “it’s all steamy and James was half asleep anyway he wouldn’t of seen the cuts don’t worry” I tried reassuring ben “but he could oh, oh god he’s going to tell everyone, they’re going to think I’m mental Danny” ben said on the brick of tears. I hugged him and he placed his head on my chest, now crying “Danny I don’t want people to find out” ben said into my chest. “Shhh they won’t, I will go talk to James and make sure he dint see anything okay” I told ben kissing him then getting out the shower and raping a towel around me, leaving ben standing in the shower.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen area; James was sitting on the sofa. I went and sat next to him “sorry you had to see that mate, we thought everyone was still asleep” I apologized to James. “I only wanted a piss, and in return I have you two fucking engraved into my brain” James said looking at me “as I said I’m sorry you had to see us, but that’s all you saw wasn’t it” I asked him, oh please don’t tell me there was someone else in there” James asked looking even more worried “no, no just us” I answered “urmm okay, well I’m going to go now” James said looking awkward as he walked back off to his bedroom.

I walked back off to our bedroom ben was sitting on the bed with just a town round him. I sat behind him and palled him backward so his head was resting on my chest “don’t worry he didn’t see anything baby” I told him “you sure” ben asked I nodded “I’m sorry I freaked” he added “it’s okay I know you don’t want anyone to know and I understand that” I told him. We lay there for a bit in silence “I’m trying to stop” ben said quietly “I don’t want cuts all over me that I have to hide”. “Well I’m always here for support okay” I told ben.

 

*Few hours later*

We were all sitting in the kitchen area James trying to avoid any eye contact with me and ben, our tour manger walks in “okay guys you’ve got to be out of here in half an hour and onto the tour bus, we have got a lot of traveling to do if you want to make the next show tomorrow” he informed us we all nodded and headed off to our rooms.

“I’m going to miss being on my own with you” I told ben “we can still be on our own” he replied “yeah but not really someone is always going to be there” I told him with a sad look. Ben walked over to be and put his harms around me “we will find away trust me” he said then kissed my nose “you’re adorable you know” I told him “not as much as you”.

We were all on the tour bus, chilling in the living area. Me and ben were snuggled up together; Sam was sitting next to ben on his laptop. James and Cameron were playing some video game. “Omg the pictures from last night are up” same informed us all, we all gathered around him. There was loads of us all pissed together then some of the others with different girls then it came to me and ben, there were loads of us kissing and well acting like a proper couple. “Well I guess it’s out then” ben said, I pecked him on the lips “yeah” I beamed at him. We both turned back to the laptop screen, Sam was scrolling through the pictures. “Hold the fuck up” I commanded Sam and he stopped scrolling. It was a picture of me and ben kissing bens hands was in my hair and mine were cupping his ass. “That mother fucking shit is hot” I half shouted, ben started giggling next to me. “Wait there is something written underneath it” James said then read it out.

Asking Alexandria singer Danny worsnop and guitarist ben Bruce have recently been seen out at a club with each other, both men are usually the ones getting all the girls but in this case they were only getting at each other. They usually do this sort of stuff on stage while messing around but as you can see in the picture above they look very serious, so the question is are the asking Alexandria boys gay and where does this, leave the band? 

“what the fuck do they mean ‘where’s these leave the band, you guys are okay with us to right” I asked the guys they all said yes “look mate it’s just going to take some people time to get used to, as it said you two are always with girls” Sam said, I nodded I guess it was the truth, I just hope people will get use to us and well if they don’t then fuck them.


	14. A perfect body ruined, by self-hatred

Danny pov

We just chilled in the tour bus for the rest of the day since we had a deadline and wasn’t even aloud to stop anywhere. We looked online at more of the press from last night, there was fuck loads. Most of it was about me and ben, there were a lot of pictures of us kissing and messing around, also the question about weather in fact we was gay?

Sam cooked the food again since he was the only one that could cook, and like always we all tucked in while ben sat there biting his nails while looking at the huge plate of food in front of him. He did manage to eat a few spoonful’s before he complain on how full he was, I really didn’t understand how he had any energy at all, especially when he has to go on stage.

We ended up watching another film on the night, yeah that’s right like the party animals we are. Ben was lying down on me all comfy ready for the film until James decided to put on nightmare on Elm Street and ben shit himself and hid his face in my chest. I now understand why ben would go to bed or go out whenever we watched scary movies.

“Baby” I whispered in his ear “this one’s really not that scary”

I told him even though I knew it was one that played on your mind especially when you’re trying to sleep.

He lifted his head up “are you sure” he asked,

“I’m sure and anyway don’t worry I’m here” I said placing a huge grin on my face.

“Well that’s made me feel a whole lot better” ben said in a sarcastic voice,

“Hey” I said in a hurt voice and tickled ben in the ribs, and when I say ribs I mean I could feel each of them in my hands, they were sticking out terrible. But I didn’t let my shock show on my face, because I knew ben thought he didn’t have a problem, when he so did. I couldn’t concentrate on the film after that because for one it was in fact scary for ben and he kept jumping and hiding in my chest and also I was worried. Ben wasn’t going to last much longer if he carried on like this. With him hardly eating he was going to end up in hospital and then the cutting, even though he was trying to stop I knew it was going to hard, he was like an addict but not to drugs or alcohol but the worst thing, hurting himself. Every cut that was placed on his perfect skin, every bone that stuck out where it was supposed to. Was hurting him, I thought I could help him, help him get better but it seems impossible, what was I going to do. The film finished, interrupting my thoughts.

“Off to bed we go” Cameron started to say in a sing song voice “we have a busy day tomorrow, Danny, you and ben are doing the first interview In the morning” Cameron informed us.

“Thanks mate, night” I said as the three of them headed for the bunks. “Come on baby, we got to go to bed” I said to ben.

“I don’t want to” ben said, sounding like a little kid.

“But we got fun interviews tomorrow” I said sarcastic, I personally hates them, only because most of the interviews hated us, they would just be dick towards us.

“Greattt” ben said dragging the word out.

I laughed at him then pushed him upward off me and onto the couch; I grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him up so we was face to face. “Now mister we are going to bed so no arguments, we have stupid interviews to piss of tomorrow okay”

Ben laughed at me “yes sir” he then put our lips together, it was just a quick one but I loved every second.

I pulled ben toward the bunks “night baby” I said then got into my bunk, ben did the same. I was just dropping off to sleep when someone pulled back the curtain on my bunk, I turned over to see who it was, it was ben.

“Danny, can I sleep with you” he said in a small voice looking embarrassed.

“What’s wrong baby” I asked him, while moving over so he could get in as well, once he was in the bunk with me he answered.

“That’s film was fucking scary and now all I can do is think about it” ben answered looking sad.

I put my arm around him and pulled him closer, “it just a film remember” I said and kissed him nose.

“I know” ben said then nuzzled his face into my chest “but anyway you much better to sleep with”

“Haha thank you” I kissed the top of his head “now go to sleep baby” so once again me and ben ended up sleeping together, oh and how glad I am of that.

we was rudely awoken by our tour manager ripping open the curtain to my bunk, and shouting we have ten minutes to get our lazy fucking asses out of bed, then him storming off. “Well someone isn’t in a good mood” I said.

“I don’t want to get up, can’t we just sleep for the interview” ben asked adorably.

“Well as much as I would love that, I don’t think the interviewer will, so come on” I said nudging ben a bit, after about five minutes he finally moved onto his own bunk that is while I went to the bathroom to get ready. Our twat of a tour manager started banging on the door after a while, I opened it smiling “well hello to you to”

“Yeah, yeah are you done and where’s ben?” he asked.

“Yeah I’m done and bens I don’t know I’ll go get him” I said headed back to bunks to find ben where I left him, in his bunk asleep again. I lifted him out the bunk, which woke him up.

“Danny, what the fuck” he said while trying to get out of my arms, and failing miserably.

“Come on princess” I said laughing while carrying him to the bathroom.

“Danny I have legs you know, I can walk all by myself” ben said now laughing with me.

When we was inside the bathroom I put him down on his feet “now you get dressed and I will try and get us some more time with MR. Moody okay” I told ben then left him in the bathroom to get sorted.

Ben ended up taking a whole 20 minutes to get sorted, what the fuck did he do that would take him that long, our tour manager was not pleased, he shoved us in a car and told us to behave, like we was little kids going to school. Me and ben messed around in the car properly annoying the driver as he kept giving us strange looks through the mirror. Once we got to the place of the interview I could tell it was going to be shit, a big building with lots of offices just great.

And I was rite we go inside and was welcomed by a secretary which looked me and ben up and down about 10 times showing her disappointment with us, this was properly because me and ben was feeling each other up but of well get used to it bitch. Then we was leaded up four flights of stairs into some office and told to sit down and wait. We waited until a man came out, he was dressed all fancy in a suit, and he also looked us up and down with a disappointed look

“Come inside then boys” he said beckoning for us to enter his office.

Yes as I thought a dickhead like who calls two band members boy like we are naught kids at school, the questions where the usual boring ones that we had answered thousands of time before. After that we got back in the car and headed somewhere to do a photo-shoot, the others was also meeting us there. These people were a little bit stuck up but not as much, but you could see in their eyes they didn’t like us. Once we were finished with that we all headed back to the tour bus.

“You know I fucking hate people like that” I said once we was in the car.

“Same mate, total dicks” James said “well lease we got a good en later”

“Who we got” I asked, I never knew what we was doing.

“Bryan stars, least with him we get to do what we want and the interviews are fun”.

“I love doing interviews with him” ben said from next to me “what time we doing that anyway” he asked.

“Few hours I think” James answered bens question. I wonder how he knew what we was doing but I didn’t hmm maybe I should listen more. Haha fuck no

“Yay I can sleep” ben said looking happier. I put my arm around him and kissed him on the cheek “as I said, adorable”.

Ben ended up falling asleep in the car ride back to the bus, and I had the job of carrying him in. which wasn’t very hard since he was as light as feather, literally. He fitted nicely in my arms as I carried him in bridal style. I put him into his own bunch this time, and left him to sleep.

I headed back to the living area of the bus; Sam was the only one in there.

“Heya mate” I said to him.

“Hey Danny, can we talk for a minuet” Sam asked me as I sat next to him on the couch.

I nodded for him to continue, “Well I guess I sort of know what’s going on with ben, and I know it’s properly not the whole of the story. But from what I’ve seen he’s got an eating disorder” Sam said.

I nodded and Sam continued “and I know he don’t what me or anyone else to know. So I guess I’m just asking will you make sure he gets better and do whatever you can to help him, because he’s my best mate and well before you two started going out he told me everything. I’m just worried about him; I don’t want anything to happen to him”

I broke down at after Sam finished, Sam’s arms went around me, pulling me into a hug “Sam I don’t know what to do, I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to lose him. But he don’t want help and I can’t force him” I said between cries.

“Danny it’s okay, I’ll help you, I’ll help both of you”


	15. One line to end it all!

Me and Sam talked for ages, he told me that I needed to confront ben about his eating problem, I didn’t tell Sam about the cutting though, because I knew ben was trying to sort that one out on his own. Sam said I needed to ask ben how it stated, this way I would understand the background off the problem. I also needed to tell ben that he needs to talk to someone. I knew he wouldn’t want to because he thought people would think he was mental and then they would send him to a metal institute.

But it was for the best, wasn’t it?

I decided that I would talk to him tonight after the show, this way everyone would be out at the clubs and it would be just us two.

We had half hour till we had to leave for the venue “I’m going to go get ben up , since he takes fucking ages to get dressed” I said to Sam then headed off to the bunks. I pulled back the curtain on bens bunk, the sight that I saw, I was defiantly not expecting.

Ben was lying on the bed topless with his eyes closed, I looked down at his arms there was a razor in one hand and his wrists was slit.

“Shit ben, baby come on” I started to shake him but there was no reply. 

“SAM” I shouted. He came running in. he took one look at ben.

“What do I do” I pleased and started crying “Sam fucking help me, what do I do” I screamed at him

Sam started fiddling around in his pocket “cheek for a pulse, I’ll call an ambulance” Sam said while getting his phone out his pocket.

I put my fingers to bens neck at first I couldn’t feel anything “come on baby, don’t leave me” I said while looking for his pulse.

“I found it” I shouted at Sam. He talked more into the phone then put it back in his pocket.

Sam grabbed some piece of clothing of the side “Danny you need to put pressure on them” he said while chucking it at me. I did what I was told and held them over both of bens wrists.

*Few minutes later*

The paramedics came rushing into the bus pushing me and Sam outside to wait, while thy got ben ready to take in the ambulance.

“Why didn’t you tell me” Sam asked me.

“He asked me not to, he was trying to help his self” I answered him honestly.

“But I could of helped” Sam said turning me so I was now facing him.

“I’m sorry I should of but ben was so scared about people finding out, he thought they would think he was mental and he would get sent away” I lowered my head “I think that’s why he did this” I said but and I knew it was the truth, I should of just kept my big mouth shut and my baby would still be okay.

“What” Sam asked me with a puzzled look on his face?

“Well he must have heard us talking about him getting help, so he wanted to end it before he got sent away”

“Danny ben needs help, and I mean it, and I know that you know it too, so that’s what we are going to do. Help him!” Sam said. I nodded.

They brought ben out on a stretcher “who’s going to come with him to the hospital” one of the paramedics asked.

“Me” I said following him and getting in the ambulance

“I’ll wait for Cameron and James then get to the hospital as soon as we can, keep me updated” Sam said I nodded as the doors shut.

I sat on a chair next to ben, he was still on unconscious, I started crying again, what if he didn’t make it? I don’t think I could go on without him. One of the paramedics came next to me.

“He’s going to be alright, he didn’t cut very deep, but he will need a few stiches, then they will be bandaged up, okay?” he asked I just nodded, unable to speak, what if he was wrong.

They rushed ben in and told me to just take a seat, it seemed like hours before a small woman came out and sat next to me.

“Are you with Mr Bruce” she asked me.

“Is ben okay, please tell me he is” I begged the woman.

She smiled at me “he’s okay, he’s had some stitched and both his wrists are bandaged up but I’m going to need you to answer some questions okay?” she said I nodded at her.

“how long has ben been self-harming” she asked.

“I’ve only found out about it in the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to help him” I answered her. She write in down then looked back up at me.

“Okay well from the amount of cuts of bens arms we can see he needs help, do you know why he started”

“No he never told me” I answered her.

“okay that’s fine, well bens going to need some help he will need to talk to a psychiatrist, but he is also going to need a lot of support, what are you to him” she asked

“I’m his boyfriend and band mate”

“Okay so will he have a lot of support, because that’s what he needs at this moment in time” I nodded at her knowing the guys would support ben all the way.

“That’s brilliant, anyway that’s it for now would you like to go see him” she asked me.

“Yes, please” the doctor lead me to a room and opened the door for me, I stepped inside. Ben was sitting up in the bed with both his wrists bandaged up. I could feel my eyes starting to water; ben just lowered him head, avoiding eye contact with me.

I walked straight over to him and pulled him into my arms, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Don’t you ever, ever! Fucking scare me like that again” I pulled away from him and looked straight into his eyes “ever, do you hear me”

“I so sorry Danny” ben said starting to cry himself.

“Why did you do it baby” I asked ben.

He lowered his head again “I got scared, you was going to send me away” he answered me

“Baby I just want you better, I wasn’t going to send you anywhere. Has the doctor talked to you” I asked him and he nodded “so you understand that you’re going to have to talk with someone” he nodded again. “I’m going to fix you okay, now come on you can leave now” I told ben while helping him off the bed. We walked down to the waiting area, where the guys were going to be waiting for us. As we walked in they all stood up, Sam half ran up to ben and pulled him into a hug.

“Are you okay, you fucking scared me mate” Sam said.

“I’m okay, I’m sorry” ben answered in a small voice.

“Okay I’m going to go sign you out, wait here” I told them and went to sign ben out.

We got back to the tour bus, it had been a silent ride, and no one said anything just sat there. Once we got back I helped ben into his bunk and told him I would be in soon, I was trying not to let him out of my sight. I quickly left him to go grab a drink. All the guys were sitting down in the living area.

“Danny are you going to explain what the fucks going on” James said with a concern look on his face.

“To be honest I don’t know the whole story but I’m sure ben will tell you himself tomorrow” I told them the nodded and we all agreed that we would talk about it tomorrow when ben had, had some rest.

I walked back into the bunk area and bens curtain was open I look inside; he was just staring back at me.

“You okay babe” I asked him. He just shrugged and lifted up the quilt signalling for me to get in. I kicked of my shoes and slipped into bed with him. His head automatically went to my chest.

“I so sorry Danny about today” he said quietly to me.

“I know” I said back

“I just got really sacred when I heard you and Sam talking about me, I though you was going to send me straight to the mental place” I could feel his tears on my shirt my this point “please don’t send me Danny” he said his voice stating to get louder “I promise I won’t ever do it again, just please don’t make me go”. He finished now fully crying.

“Shhh baby I’m not sending you anywhere, calm down” I said hugging him trying to calm him down a bit. After a while he calmed down and stopped crying. “But you understand that now you have done this you have got to get help” I asked ben.

“I know” he answered in a small voice. “But they won’t make me leave you will they” he said looking up at me with big eyes.

“Of course they won’t, you will just have to go talk to someone, then you get to come back to me, but ben you really do need to stop, you could of killed yourself today” I told him, he nodded.

“I’m trying” he said.

“You also need to explain to the guys, they want to know. There worried about you” he just nodded again. “Just get some rest baby we will sort it out tomorrow” I said kissing ben on the lips.

“Night Danny”

“Night baby”


	16. Keep on running, and never look back

Bens pov 

When I woke up in the morning my wrist was killing, what the fuck was going on I thought. The I remembered yesterday, I really had done the most stupidest thing, I could of possibly done. And now because of one stupid action everyone knew. Everyone knew I was some fucked up twat, the guys were definably going to kick me out of the band now, and I’m going to be stuck in some mental institute forever. 

I looked down at my wrists “shit” I cursed under my breath, the bandages was soaked in my blood. I needed to go change them before it went everywhere. I went to move, but was unable because of Danny’s iron grip around me. I started to shake him generally. I moan and stirred.

“What’s a matter baby” he said in a sleepy voice/

“I need to get up” I said trying to move but failing as his hand was still keeping me in place.

“Why” he asked me, when I didn’t answer his eyes opened “is there something wrong?” he asked me.

“Is urmm just these” I said lifting my wrists up.

“Shit what happened” he asked looking even more worried.

“They leaked or something, I need to go change them before my blood goes everywhere” I told him.

“I’ll come help you” Danny said while getting out of bed, I swung my legs over the edge and looked up at Danny.

“I can do it myself”, I had a feeling that because of what happened yesterday Danny was going to be really overprotective.

“I know you can but I want to help” he said covering his lie up with a smile. I knew he thought I was going to do something stupid again, but I let it drop and walked off to the living area to find the first aid kit, with Danny walking way too close behind me.

Danny picked the first aid kit up before me, and then ordered me to go sit down, I sat on the couch and Danny sat at my fit. He slowly unpeeled the bandages. I looked at my wrists when they were off; well they look like shit I thought. I looked at Danny he had tears slipping down his cheeks.

“What wrong” I asked him

“What do you mean what wrong, can’t you see your wrists, or am I just seeing thing” Danny said anger in his voice.

I lowered my head. “Sorry” I said quietly. Danny didn’t say anything after that. He just put clean bandages on then got up of the floor and sat next to me. We sat there in silence for a while. I couldn’t think of anything to say, well what do you say to your boyfriend after something like this.

“I’m sorry I got angry” Danny said not even looking at me “it’s just it hurts be to see you like this, so” he paused and looked up at me “broken” he said his words stung but they was true I was broken.

“Danny why are you even with me I’m broken as you said and well what can I offer you I’m some ugly, talentless piece of shit, why choose me when you could have and boy or girl you want” I asked him, I was also now crying.

Danny stood up in anger “don’t you ever fucking say that” he shouted angrily at me “you are the most beautiful person I have ever, and where talents concerned you have so much. I don’t ever want anyone else, I just want you” I stopped and just looked at “why can’t you see how much I love you” he finished.

I could say anything because I didn’t believe it, Danny would be better off without me. Everyone would I stood up and ran out the tour bus. I could hear Danny shouting my name for a bit. But I wasn’t turning back.

Never!


	17. You'll be screaming my name!

Danny’s pov

It had been two whole fucking weeks since ben left, he could even be bothered to get in touch with us, and we had to postpone the tour because we couldn’t exactly do it without him.

What if he never came back! No I couldn’t think like that, I’m sure he will.

The guys decided to go out that night; they said it would get my mind of ben for a bit, as fuck it would. He all I could think about and nothing was going to change that.

We went to some fucking packed bar, yeah just when I need space more than ever I’m forced into being shoved into a packed room, full of slags that kept grinding against me. We finally got to the bar; I slumped down on the stool there while James ordered some shots. We all downed them, and soon another was being placed in my hand. And another and another.

Ben’s pov

When I ran off I didn’t think about taking anything with me, fuck what I was going to. Maybe I should just go back, no what the point no one wanted me there, so I just kept walking until I came to a park. I went in and sat on a bench. It was getting pretty dark now, shit where was I going to stay for the night, with no money to get a hotel room and to top it all off it started to fucking rain.

I dragged my sorry excuse of a body of the bench and headed back onto the streets, I had no idea where I was, the streets were dark and there were a lot of allies. I saw a bar up ahead, which I decided to go in minds as well least it, would be warm. With no money to buy anything I just went and sat down, I was messing with my hands when I felt someone slid in next to me.

“Can I get you a drink” they said in my ear.

I looked up it was a man, with black longish hair and piercing blue eyes. He wore a warm smile. So I just nodded at his request.

He got up from his seat next to me and headed to the war well he seemed nice enough, he came straight back with a drink I didn’t bother to ask what it was I just started drinking the liquid in the glass, it tasted funny at first but fuck it, I just kept on drinking.

“I’m Todd by the way and you” he asked in my ear.

“Ben” I answered him, my vision was starting to get blurred, well this wasn’t right I could be drunk after just one could I. “urmm Todd what was this” I asked pointing to the glass. He shrugged and pulled my up out my seat.

“Come on” he said half dragging me

“Where we going Todd” I asked, starting to get a bit worried. He didn’t answer “Todd” I said a bit more loudly this time.

“Save your breath baby, you’ll be screaming my name soon”

And with that he dragged me out the bar and into a car.

He had taken me to some run down motel room and pushed me onto the ben, I tried to get away but my body was lip and would do what I wanted, I tried to scream next but nothing came out. 

Why the fuck did I run off, this would have never of happened it I had just stayed, I would properly be with Danny in his arm, but instead I had been forced into some to go with a stranger who by the way has looking at me doesn’t want to chill.

Todd walked over to the bed where I was lying he ties both my wrists to the bed post they stung from where the cuts was next he pulled on my jeans followed by my pants. I lay there half naked shitting myself.

“P-p-p-please, stop” I asked him hopping he would but knowing deep down there was no chance. He didn’t say anything he just undressed himself.

“Don’t worry baby, you’re going to love this” he said winking then getting on top of me.


	18. Giving in is better that all the pain

Ben’s pov

I woke up the next morning, I looked around Todd was not in sign. I shifted on the bed a bit. Pain, everywhere. I hurt so much. I took a look around, I was covered in blood along with the bed, shit what even happened. I can’t remember fuck all from last night. 

I tried to free my hands which were still tied up, with no luck, they were so fucking tight and it didn’t help with the cuts that were already on my wrists. Just then the door came swinging open, and in walked Todd.

“You’re awake” he said happily smiling down at me. What the fuck, you don’t do that to a person then pretend nothing happened like the whole situation is normal. I didn’t answer him, I just stared. I’m not one to hate a person, but him, I despised. How could he have done this to me, when I hadn’t done a thing to him? 

“Not going to answer me huh?” he said lifting one of his eyebrows “ungrateful bitch”.

What the fuck how am I the ungrateful one. I still didn’t answer him.

He came over and lent down, grabbing a handful of my hair, pulling my face up to him, his breath fucking stunk, the twat.

“Pretty one aren’t you” he said “well your my pretty bitch now” he said with a smile upon his lips, a smile that could kill.

Danny’s pov

I could be arsed to drink after a while, all I could think about was ben. I started drinking some water to sober up a bit. Sam saw me and came and swung his arm around my shoulders.

“What’s wrong mate” he said a little bit tipsy.

“Nothing” I answered, he knew I was lying. “Just go drink fuck loads then get a girl and fuck her. I’m just going to head back anyway” I said while started to stand. I was just about to walk away when a young chap came and stood next to me, he called one of the bar staff over to him and said.

“There’s some kid in the toilet, his naked and looks pretty beat up” he said, I don’t know why but ben was all I could think about when he said this, I had to ask.

“What did he look like” I asked the chap, a confused look covered his face “please”.

“Urmm mop of hair, tattoos, pierced lip” he answered.

“Fuck” I shouted then looked at Sam who was still next to me “that’s ben I know it” I told him, he nodded and we ran for the toilets. With James and Cameron running after us.

Ben’s pov

Todd forced me to stay with him, he fucked me when he wanted to but when he wasn’t he would lend me out.

I would be sent to whoever would pay the most, forced to do what whatever they wanted or wouldn’t get paid. Some would simply fuck me, but some liked to beat me, make me their little bitch. I hated it, I had tried to run a few times, but I never succeed Todd would always get me. He would beat the living shit out of me. So I stopped trying.

I gave in!

Todd tuck me to a bar tonight, he said it would be easy money. A lot of people want to fuck when their pissed. He dragged me to the most packed bar; he shoved me into one of the seat and told me to wait for him to get a customer. So I did, many came. I would go into the bathroom with them, have a quick fuck then come back out and sit down.

Everything was going to normal until some big arse muscled guy came; I knew he would like it rough by the way he grabbed my arm at first sight. He pulled me into the bathroom and pushed me up against the wall.

“Fuck!” I hissed in pain. I heard him undo his jeans. And then when the pain started.

He left me broken on the floor after he was done, I just lay there in too much pain, I wish I could die right here, a least then I would have to carry on doing this.

It had been about 10 minutes before I heard his voice, shouting my name. He had found me.

Danny’s pov

We ran into the toilets, and there he was. Naked, lying on the floor. Bruises, covering his beautiful body and blood everywhere.

“Ben” I shouted but he didn’t reply, I looked at Sam he just mirrored my worried expression. I knelt down next to my broken baby and brought him up into my arms.

“Baby, come on” I said while gently shaking him. His eyes slowly opened.

“Danny” he asked in a small voice.

“Yes, baby it’s me you’re okay now” I said bring his lips to mine. After we broke the kiss, me and the guys helped him get up and dressed. He looked terrible, he was so beaten up.

“im going to fucking kill whoever did this to you” my voice full of hatred. As we was just about to leave the toilets a tallish guy walked in, he had shoulder length black hair.

“Excuse me but you have to pay more for taking him home” he told us. Plastering a grin on.

“What” Sam asked confused from my side.

“Well you see, that it my property” he said gesturing to ben “so if you want to take him home you’re going to have to pay more. The stranger answered.

“What the fuck bens no one’s property, and who the fuck are you” I said, starting to get angry. I put my arm around bens tiny waist with James on the other side of him giving him more support.

“Come on baby” I told ben as I started guiding him out, but the dick blocked out way.

“As I said he’s mine, so I will need money front up” he was really starting to piss me off now.

“Look he you twat ben is no one’s property, but he is my boyfriend so I’m going to take him home and get him fixed up. So if you don’t get out of my fucking way right this second I will smash you fucking face in” I looked at this Stanger, but with no sign of movement I went for it, slamming my fist square into his face, hearing a satisfying crack, then I kneeing him in the ball. He fell to the floor with a loud thump.

Well I did warn him.


	19. People are dicks

Danny’s pov

We got back to the tour bus, I lay ben down on the couch.

“Ouch!” he screeched in pain “Danny it hurts” he pleaded with tears starting to drip from his eyes.

“I know baby, I’m going to try make it go away, okay” I told him he nodded his head.

“James get me some paracetamol out the cupboard and Sam will you get me the first aid kit please” I asked the guys and they went off to get the stuff.

They came back with the stuff I had asked for and passed them to me. “Okay take these and I’m going to look at some of these cuts” I told ben. He took the tablets out my hand and swallowed them; I started to lift his top up to get a look at the cuts but his hands shot down stopping me he pushed his top back down into place. He had panicking look on his face.

“I don’t want to, please don’t” ben said begging, I looked up at the guys who were standing around us, they looked at me with a sad look.

“Urmm give us a minute guy” I asked them, they all nodded and headed off to the bunks. I looked back at ben who was no sitting upwards with his knees pulled up to his stomach, he looked scared.

“Baby it’s just me I’m not going to hurt you” I told him while getting off the floor to sit next to him.

“I just don’t want to, I’m hurting everywhere” ben said not even making eye contact with me now. He thought I was going to hurt him, me! But I loved him; I would never do anything that would hurt him.

“Ben, baby” I said putting my hand on his knee. He flinched, under my touch. “I’m not going to do anything, I just want to look at the cuts and make sure you’re okay” I told him, he finally looked at me.

“Promise” he asked.

“I promise” I told him, he nodded and let me lift his top up and over his head, his once perfect skin was now ruined, it was covered in cuts, bite marks and bruises.

“Oh god” was all I could say, ben dropped his head in shame, “baby did that guy do this to you” I asked him, it took a while for him to answer but when he finally did.

“Only some, there was different ones” he told me, shit I couldn’t believe what he had gone through.

I embraced him in a hug; it’s all I could do. I could believe he had gone through all this pain on his own, I started to cry.

“Don’t cry Danny, I’m okay now” he said in such a cute voice, wow id missed his voice.

“I’m sorry, it just. You went through all this on your own, I’m sorry” I finally said.

Ben pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Why are you sorry” he asked with a questionable look on his face.

“Because it all my fault, if I hadn’t of got mad at you, you would of runaway then none of this would have happened to you” I told him honestly.

“none of this is your fault, if I wasn’t being such a little bitch and run away from my problems well I wouldn’t of got an even bigger one would I. so don’t blame yourself for my stupid actions please” I said in one breath then pushed our lips together.

“I love you ben, like so fucking much” I told him.

“I love you too” he answered lightly kissing me on the lips.

I looked at him smiling, “come on let’s get you cleaned up, I think you should just go in the shower” ben looked at me with another panic look. “Don’t worry I meant on your own baby” he smiled then.

I helped ben to the bathroom but left once inside, I knew he wouldn’t want me to see him naked for a while, which I understood. Once I left ben I went and told the guys it was okay for them to come back in which they did. We all sat down in the living area.

“Is he okay” Sam asked looking at me worried.

“He’s in pretty bad shape and he’s frightened of m-m-me” I said feeling the tears starting to flow. Sam came and pulled me into a hug.

“It’s going to be hard for him mate, he’s obviously been through a lot, all he needs at the moment is a lot of support and well understanding”. Sam said trying to comfort me.

“I know but it’s me, he knows I would never hurt him”

“He knows that but it’s going to take some time for him to trust people again okay” Sam told me and I just nodded, he was right after all. We all talked for bit mostly about what we were going to do about the tour, we knew ben was in no fit way to perform and it wouldn’t be rite to do it without him. So we decided to put it on hold for a bit, until he was back to his normal self.

As we were talking ben came creeping out of the bathroom, wearing the pjs I had given him, “Danny” he said in a small voice. I looked round at him.

“Do you want to go bed baby” I asked him and he nodded. I got up and helped him to the bunks. I helped him into bed. I was about to walk off when he said.

“Please don’t leave me”

“Are you sure” I asked, he took a few moments before nodding. This informed me I had to be careful. I slid into the bed next to him. We lay just next to each other for a bit, barley touching. Until he shuffled around and put his head on my chest and he arm around me. I smiled into his hair.

“Night baby”

“Night Danny, love you”


	20. Scared of the people he once knew

Danny’s pov

The next week was ruff, ben hardly spoke to anyone including me, and when he did he never said anything about what had happened and no one asked him. It wasn’t that we didn’t care because we all did it’s just we were scared. We knew something bad had happened to ben and we sort of had an idea what but we didn’t have the whole story.

It was just another day of us lounging around on the tour bus, even though we wasn’t playing any gigs, we were writing and still doing a lot of press just without ben. We had told the fans ben was ill so we could play any shows at the moment and that we would just move the dates back.

We were all in the living area watching TV together while ben sat as far away from us as he could, his legs pulled up to his chest. Protecting himself, like someone was going to attack him at any minute. He just stared, at nothing. Showing no emotion. It killed me that my once best friend who was always smiling and joking around had turned into this and there was nothing I could do to help him and if there was I don’t think he would even let me.

It was hard to help someone when they jumped at your touch, how was I supposed to even comfort him. The only time he would let me near him was in bed and that was only because he was scared. It was terrible at night he would always have nightmares, end up screaming and crying. And all I could do was hold him, I could tell him I could make them go away because he knew I couldn’t and so did I.

James jumped up all of a sudden “that’s it I can’t stand this I’m going to get some booze” James said and I understood where he was coming from all we had done this week was sit around none of us hardly talking.

“I’ll join you” Cameron said following James out the door. This just left me, ben and Sam. I looked back at ben he looking fucking terrified.

“You okay ben” I asked him, he slowly turned his head toward me and nodded, I could see the ears forming in his eyes, what should I do, hug him? But he will just flinch. Fuck it he was my boyfriend and he need comforting. I stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, I sat next to him. He looked at me like I was going to hurt him or something, but this didn’t stop me. I put my arms around his small body. I was rite he did flinch which broke my heart but then he rested his head of me and let me pull him into a comforting hug.

“It’s okay baby” I said into his hair. We didn’t say anything for a while, until.

“I’m ruining everything” ben said.

“No you not” I told him, what was he going on about.

“Yes I am, I’m a wreck and I’m pulling all you lot down with me, I’m so sorry Danny” he said and I could feel his tears soaking my t-shirt. “Will you help me, like for real this time?” ben asked me.

“Of course I will baby, but at your own pace okay” I told him.

“I know what I’ve got to do first” he said pulling away from me and looking up, he took a huge breath “I’ve got to tell you what happened, haven’t I?” ben said, I nodded even though I dint want to know but I knew ben need to say if there was any hope in him getting better and back to the person I once fell in love with.


	21. Broken but still perfect

Danny’s pov

We waited until James and Cameron got back thank god they wasn’t pissed, we all sat down and looking at ben. He was sitting with his legs up to his chest and rocking back and forth. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Baby you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to” I told him. He looked up at me.

“But I have to it’s the only way for me to get better” he said looking even more scared than before.

“Okay, but stop if it gets too much alright” I told him and he nodded.

“Well the day I ran off is when it first happened; I didn’t know what to do since I had no money and nowhere else to go. So I walked around for a while until it started to rain, so when I saw a bar, I thought great I would go there for a bit then properly head back here. It was all going was going okay at first, I just sat there on my own until the guy from the bathroom came, and he looked okay and offered to buy me a drink. But the drink didn’t taste right and after a while it made me feel funny. He grabbed me and started pulling me away, I tried to pull away from him but my body was working against me, so I tried shouting but nothing came out”

Ben said starting to cry. He took a breath and carried on.

“He shoved me into a car and then I blacked out, I woke up in a room handcuffed to a bed, I was naked. I tried shouting again but no one came to help me but then Todd came he jumped on top of me, he said he loved it hard and he was fucking right, the stuff he did to me and the pain was so bad”

Ben fully broke down at the last bit, I pulled him into a hug, I wish I hadn’t told him to tell us now; he was in so much fucking pain at these memories.

“Ben mate, you can stop, you don’t need to tell us anymore” James told ben. I looked at the others, they looked terrible they could see how much pain ben was in and I honestly believed they didn’t want to hear anymore. When ben had stopped crying so bad he answered.

“No I’ve got to carry on” we nodded.

“Well after he fucked me that night he kept me for a few days he just did me over and over again, but then he started sharing me, the people would pay for however long they wanted me. Todd told them they could do whatever they wanted with me as long as they sent me back. Some were nice to me but some just treated me like a piece of shit, I just had to take it all with no complaints.”

Ben said and smiled at me trying to reassure me as he could see I had also started crying.

“So how did you get into that bar, the night we got you” Sam asked ben.

“Well some nights Todd would take me to bars, he said they were easy money just a quick fuck in the toilets, I had done a few that night everything was okay-ish until this big guy came I could tell he would be rough by the way he grabbed me out my seat and pulled me off to the toilets, he pushed me up against the wall and got straight to it, he yanked my jeans and boxers down, he undid his own jeans and shoved himself right into me and fucking hell he was huge. Pain covered my whole body I screamed for him to stop but he just covered my mouth and told me to ‘be a good little bitch’. Thank god it was over quite quickly he just dumped my on the floor and at that moment I just wanted to die, I could go on like that, I heard someone come in, I thought Todd had sent my next costumer but when I heard your voice I was so relived”

Ben stopped at looked up at me.

“You saved me, thank you”

I looked at ben even though at the moment he was broken and hurt to me he was still the most perfect human being ever and at that moment I realised that I actually fucking loved this man, I would do absolutely anything for him.

“No baby you saved me” I told him he looked at me for a few seconds then he slowly brought his lips to mine. You know when people talk about fireworks going off when kissing someone, well it was one of those moments, I don’t think I could have been happier.

I loved ben, and I was going to make him mine, someday!


	22. Everyone's turning into chicks

Danny’s pov

The rest of that day went more smoothly, ben was a little bit more laid back, unlike before where ben would sit as far away from us as he could, with the same scared expression on his face. No now he was sitting next to me, not touching but still very close he would join in a bit with the conversation. And he smiled the first smile I had seen in weeks. This gave me that little bit more hope, now I believed ben was going to get better, he just needed time. 

But some things still hadn’t changed, like bens old problems. Our tour manger brought in fuck loads of pizza boxes, they smelt like heaven. Us lot all rushed like pigs to get some well everyone except for ben who stayed put on the couch; I grabbed a pizza box and went and sat next to him again.

“Want some” I asked putting a piece of pizza in front of him, he looked at it like, and then his went pale and ran off to the toilet. I hadn’t realised but everyone had gone quiet and was staring at me. I got off the couch and followed ben, he was on the floor bent over the toilet, I knelt down next to him.

“Baby when was the last time you ate?” I asked him, he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and shrugged.

“a while” he answered he laughed all of a sudden “it funny just when I thought there was a chance of me getting better, all this shit comes back, I’m really never going to get better am I, forever fucked up” he said, face going sad.

“no you can overcome this, okay” I told him “so to start with your going to get in there and at least try eating something okay” I told him, he gave me a worried look at the thought of having to eat something, “ben do you want to get better” I asked him and he nodded “well then you’ve got to do this baby” I said smiling at him. I helped him off the floor and back into the living area. We sat back down and gave ben a slice of the pizza. After a few bites he looked at me

“I think I’m going to be sick” he said

“No you’re not come on keep going” I said giving him a reassuring smile. He did what I said and finished the slice and smiled at me “told you could do it”. Ben looked into my eyes he was slowly bringing his head towards mine.

“Danny put a film on will you” James said totally ruining the moment, I sent him death glares, ben giggled at me.

“I’m busy get your fat arse up and do it yourself” I told him

“No you were just trying to suck bens face off, now put a film on before I’m sick” James said everyone burst out laughing at this, ben shoved me to go put it on, James the dick ruining my moment I thought while getting up.

“Darling don’t frown, you’ll get frown lines” James said in a camp voice.

Hmm how to annoy James, girly films he hates them, I slid the DVD in without him seeing it and went and sat back down with ben, when the DVD finally started as I evilly grinned at James.

“What the fuck is this, I never knew we were teenage girls now” James said looking at me.

“Oh but isn’t this you favourite because it sure is mine” I said smiling again; James was frowning at me now. “Watch baby cakes you’ll be the one with frown line” I said sticking my tongue out at him. James slouched down into the couch while I laughed.

In was about ten minutes in to the film, I looked next to me at ben he was staring straight at me.

“What’s up” I whispered to him

“Nothing I just missed this I guess” he whispered back smiling. I knew what he meant, it felt nice just us lot hanging out together.

“Something’s not right though” ben said then looked back at the TV. I felt myself smiling, I carefully put my arm around bens middle and pulled him backwards so he was lying on me, I looked at him worried, thinking I was moving too fast and scared him since he had tensed up. But then he snuggled into me, I smiled, my ben was back.

“Yeah the thing that was wrong was you weren’t lying all over me” I said laughing. Ben laughed as well.

“Yup I like it like this” ben said. I kissed his forehead.

“Your adorable” told him, he smiled up at me.

“Not as adorable as you” he said and it was like nothing had happened and we were straight back to where we left of, I couldn’t of been happier.


	23. Stupid fucking whore

Ben pov

‘Time laps: one week later’

“COME ON EVERYONE UP, YOU GOT 30 MINTUES” our tour manger shouted repeatedly while walking up and down the tour bus.

“Urgghh” I groaned while rolling over to face away from the annoying sound.

“Morning princess” Danny said, I smiled at this and opened my eyes. I came face to face with Danny, we were only inches apart and I could feel his warm breath on my face.

“Morning baby” I said bringing my lips gently to his. “What time is it” I asked wondering why I was being waked up.

“Urmm around about 4 in the morning, we got to go sound cheek” Danny answered me. Oh yeah it was our first show since everything had happened, and to be telling the truth I was shitting myself, what if I forget how to play the song or I don’t know died on the fucking stage, shit ben calm down. I said trying to reassure myself.

“Mehh can’t we just stay in bed “I asked putting my best puppy dog eyes on.

“As much as I would love that we really can’t” Danny said while I signed “now come on get that hot ass out of bed and into the shower since you take fucking forever” Danny said nudging me up and out of the bed. I laughed and pushed him back into the bed. As I walked off to the bathroom.

Things had gotten better since I had told the guys everything, for one I was a lot more relaxed and not as scared anymore, and somehow after everything that has happened everyone is a lot closer especially me and Danny, we were like a proper couple and I wanted everyone to know that, so that’s why we had agreed to tell everyone at the show tonight, which just made me even more nervous.

Once I got into the bathroom I stripped off and looked at myself in the mirror, I still hated everything I saw but I guess that one was never going to change was it.

I jumped into the shower and started to scum my body until it went red raw, but I somehow still felt dirty, It was like a layer of invisible filth that only I could see but never get rid of. As I scrubbed at my body like everyone other day all I could think off was all the different men, all the stuff I did to them and all the stuff they would do to me. I’m a whore, and that’s all I’m ever going to be for the rest of my life. I thought as I slumped down in the shower and started to cry. And did something that I promised I wouldn’t do again.

Dannys pov

I lay in bed waiting for ben to come back, he had been doing so well, he was eating little bits, he hadn’t been cutting, he was smiling again and talking. Every day he was getting closer back to the ben he once was. I couldn’t wait for tonight’s gig, we are finally going to tell everyone, everyone’s going to know that ben is mine and only mine.

Blood hell that boy takes long time in the shower; he had been 20 minutes so far.

James popped his head into my bunk.

“Mate is ben back yet” he asked.

“Na mate, I’m going to go see what’s taking him so long” I told James while swinging my legs out the bunk, James hand rested on my shoulder.

“You don’t think he’s urmm done anything stupid do you” James asked with pain in his eyes. I looked at him, I hadn’t thought about it until he said that. And without another word I rusted off to the bathroom. I banged on the door.

“Ben you alright in there “I shouted from the other end of the door, but there was no answer, I put my head against the door, I could hear faint sobs. I pushed on the door and was quite surprised to find it unlocked, “baby I’m coming in” I warned him.

I opened the door and slipped inside, I looked towards the shower, and ben was slouched on the shower floor with his one arm covered in blood. I jumped in the shower not bothering to turn it off. I picked ben up off the floor and carried him out to sit on the bathroom floor. His eyes fluttered open.

“I’m sorry” bens voice said quietly. I looked at him, he looked so sad and helpless which was completely different from this morning, what had happened?

“I know baby” I said kissing him on his forehead, I took his arm in my hands and started to clean up the blood, once the blood was cleaned away I looked at his arm in shock. “Baby why would you write that word” I asked him. He finally looked up at me.

“Because that’s what I am” ben answered I looked at him.

“baby you are most defiantly not that, and if you think this because of what happened to you then, well that wasn’t your fault” I told him I saw that he was going to argue back “don’t even think about saying I’m wrong” I told him placing a kiss on his nose “because I’m never wrong” I said smiling. He laughed. “Now go get dressed while I take a shower” I told him helping him off the floor.

Ben looked at me smiling “your already a bit wet” ben said making me look down at myself.

“Yeah smart ass, now out” I said laughing while pushing him out of the bathroom and jumping in the shower.

What was I going to do with that boy?


	24. You be the prince and ill be the princess

Danny’s pov 

“I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE YOUR THIS FUCKING LATE” our tour manager screeched at us while we all sat in the back of the taxi looking like innocent little kids. “I MEAN COME ON, WHAT WAS YOU EVEN DOING, ITS ONLY FUCKIN SOUND CHEEK ASWELL” he kept rambling on about everything that was wrong with us and how we are always late. Which I completely blanked out since the most beautiful boy was leaning on my chest and I was playing with his curly hair.

It was weird how I was so relaxed about what had happened in the bathroom just under a hour ago but the truth is that I was used to having to clean ben up after he had cut himself and however much pain it put me through to see hateful words which would be forever scared on his body I just had to suck it up and help him.

The car came to a halt causing our tour manager to finally stop is rambling about the shitness of our band, we all just sat there in silence.

“AND WHY THE FUCK ARNT YOU MOVING?” He shouted at us but all we could do was shrug.

“DONT YOU KNOW WE A LATE” he said staring at us all one at a time then gave up trying to get through to us.

“JUST FUCKING MOVE IT” he shouted before swinging the car door open and shouted and us to move it like we was in the army on the front line about to get shot at but instead we moved more like zombies more than soldiers.

“Come on princess” I said to ben helping him out the taxi, while he started giggling.

“Why thank you my prince” ben said taking my hand like a princess and winking at me in the process. We were caught up in each other’s eyes until we heard gagging noises coming from behind us.

“Oh my god you two please get a room” James said while pretending to throw up.

“Hmm if you wish” I replied flashing him a cheeky grin then pulling ben towards me and embracing him in a passionate kiss, his hands went straight to my hair as I cupped his arse and pulled him up so his legs were around my waist. This was the most heated we had gotten since everything had happened I hoped I was going to fast with him, I thought and started to panic until I heard him loudly moan in my mouth making me smile into the heated kiss. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip asking for entrance which he granted, my tongue slipping into his open mouth, and roaming around it freely until his own tongue started fighting back. Our tongues had their own little war inside bens mouth; ben lost the war making me smile even more. Until some dick came and pushed us apart. I opened my eyes to find out tour managers hands pushing mine and bens heads apart.

“Did you not hear me when I said WE ARE FUCKING LATE, BECAUSE I DEFINLY DON’T REMEMBER ORDERING YOU TWO TO MAKE OUT IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF A CAR PARK?” He finished with his face bright red and steam coming out of his ears. Me and ben smiled as I slowly put him back on his feet and turned around to see the guys standing there trying not to burst out laughing.

“That was not something I wanted to see this early in the morning thank you” James said but laughing now with the others and we all walked in to the building for sound cheek.


	25. Danny just gave you the sexy lick

Danny’s pov

After mine and bens little show in the car park, our tour manager just seemed to be ignoring us and whenever he did look at us he would give us a scowl. For some reason I think he blamed us for being late. I wonder why? 

Whereas the guys just kept laughing at us especially ben who seemed to be embarrassed and bright red throughout sound practice, which kept making me laugh, which meant us messing up the song which would result in another evil scowl of our tour manager.

Once sound practice was finished which seemed to take forever, we all walked off stage, I placed my arm around bens thin waist, but I didn’t get the reaction I wanted. He flinched away again. I looked down at him worried.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked him he stared at me, taking a few seconds to answer.

“No, no I just didn’t know it was you” ben answered quickly, I looked at him there was definably something else wrong. He saw that I knew and carried on speaking. “It’s just, I urmm have a bad feeling about tonight”

“What you mean” I asked him.

“You know, I just know something bad is going to happen. Like what if I forget how to play or something” ben answered making me laugh.

“You are the best guitar player everrrr” I said carrying out the r. so nothing’s going to go wrong” I said rubbing his side for comfort”

“well other stuff could happen, like when we tell everyone about well us” ben answered looking me deep in the eyes “they could all turn in to homophobic twats and kill us” ben said making me laugh again.

“Ben baby I don’t think that’s going to happen” I told him

“How do you know?” ben asked looking like a little confused kid.

“Well since everyone seems to get off on us two just kissing and joking around before when we said we was straight” I said then bring my lips to him ear to say “well imaging what they are going to be like when they know the truth” I said then started nibbling on his ear while he giggled at me.

“Blood hells Danny are you hungry or something” James shouted at me while walking towards us.

“Na mate this is just me being a sexual human being” I said grinning

“That’s the most us un-sexy thing in existence, its making my dick go even softer” he said with a big smile across his face.

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say, we all know you want some” I said then quickly ran up to him and licked all the way up the side of his face.

“Eww fuck off now I’m going to go take a shower and run my skin to it actually falls off” James said then an off screaming like a girl in a horror film. Leaving me and ben, dying on the floor with laughter.

I put both my arms around bens waist and pulled him into a hug, he nestled his head into my chest and I rested my head on his. “Now do you see nothing is going to go wrong” I told ben, he didn’t answer for a while.

“What if he comes, to get me” ben said in a whisper.

“he won’t get fucking near you okay, I’ll make sure of that” I told ben, the thought of that man and what he did to someone as kind and innocent as my ben made me want to fucking kill him.

“Do you promise” ben said again in a whisper.

“I promise I will do everything in my power to keep him away from you okay” I told ben, he nodded. We stayed like that for a while after, in silence. In was a comfortable one, it was like it was just me and him, okay so that sounds cheesy as all but it true. It didn’t matter that there was loads of people around us or what was going on in our messed up little lives. At that very moment we were happy and alone with just each other’s company.


	26. Well that was unexpected

Danny’s pov

“Come on you two dicks” our tour manager shouted at us ruining the moments completely and all of a sudden we were thrown back in to the real world.

“What’s the hurry” I asked with an annoyed tone.

“You’ve got an interview and a singing before the show tonight so we are on a tight schedule and we are already late so come on, move it” he said starting to push us out of the building and into the awaiting car. That already had everyone in.

Me and ben sat in the car next to each other with Sam, James and Carmon opposite us, I looked at James who was scowling at me.

“What’s wrong James” I said in a voice used on little kids.

“You know what” he answered crossing him arms and looking away from me. Me and ben looking at each other and burst out laughing. Sam swung his arm around Sam.

“What you two do?” Sam asked while trying to comfort James.

“What us, do something wrong, never” I answered still laughing. Sam turned to James this time.

“What they do mate” he said making James turn to face him.

“Well first Danny was trying to eat ben, and then he licked all my face” James answered like a sulking little kid.

“Aww its okay, you can wash it when we get to the place” Sam said pulling James into a hug, while me and ben sat there laughing again.

Sam’s pov

As much as I did want to laugh at James’ reaction to Danny and ben I couldn’t off because I could see he was upset and well you don’t do that to people that you well like do you.

Yes that’s right I like James and I have for a while now, I know I don’t have a chance since James is the most fucking straight thing walking but hey a guy can fantasise right?

At the moment James head was resting on my chest while I was rubbing up and down his back, this didn’t help with the whole wanting to rip his clothes off and fuck him right here right now. But hey I was happy at least.

Dannys pov

After I had calmed down from the whole laughing fit I looked over at Sam and James who were still in the same position as before the way that Sam was looking at James and rubbing his back like that was weird, I stared for a while longer.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, no he couldn’t but oh it all adds up now the way Sam’s always looking at James and at any chance he will touch him or flirt with him for ‘show’ but no I can see it now. Sam fucking likes him.

Sam head came up as he locked eyes with me; he looked at me worried like he knew that I knew his little secret which of course I did. We returned smiles. And for the rest of the journey I thought about them two.

The interview when like normal we messed around and annoyed the shit out of the person interviewing us, the guy was a twat from the start as soon as we walked in he gave me and ben especially a dirty look since we was holding hand. So I made in my number one priority to flirt and mess around with ben as much as I could, the other guys did the same. I kept an eye on Sam and James especially. James seemed to like it just as much as Sam was; hmmm maybe he was gay and liked Sam. Who knew what went through all of our messed up minds.

After that we did a signing which went amazing, just like all our signings did, fuck loads of fans showed up to get stuff signed and there was no dick head which was always good. After the signing which tuck a few hours we headed back to the tour bus to get dressed for the show tonight.

We all chucked on a pair of jeans and a vest top whereas ben had to wear a long sleeved top which was mine of course even though I had brought him some of him own, that actually fitted him no he always ended up wearing mine.

“Mate you’re going to die in that” Cameron said as soon as ben walked into the living area. Ben looked down ashamed.

“Well I have to wear it because of my arms” ben answer suddenly finding an interest in his feat.

“Oh yeah I’m sorry I forgot, but I’m sure no one would judge you for it” Cameron said making ben lift his head and smile.

“I know it’s just I would feel really uncomfortable with people seeing and knowing about it” ben answer then looking at me, I beaconed him over to sit on my lap; I wrapped my arms around him.

“You shouldn’t feel ashamed about it thought ben, they are your past and a way of showing just how strong you really are. You lived through a rough part of your life and your still hear” Cameron said smiling at ben. Suddenly ben flew of my lap and jumped onto Cameron.

“Thank you so much, you really don’t know how much that meant to me” ben said hugging Cameron to him tightly.

“No worries, it’s just the truth, you should be proud of yourself” Cameron answered smiling up at ben once he let go of him and came and curled up on my lap, and I wrapped my arms back around him protect fully.

Sam walked in to the living area and sat opposite us, he started smiling, “you two are adorable” he said all of a sudden.

“Urmm thanks” ben answered awkwardly.

“I bet you wish you had something like this sometimes I bet” I asked Sam since he was for one the only single one in the band now and two because I was trying to get him to Amite he likes James.

Sam started to look awkward in his seat “well…I.. urmm guess doesn’t everyone” he finally answered.

“Yes I guess they do, everyone just wants to have that special person” I said smiling at Sam waiting for him to catch on. Sam raised his eyebrow at me. I saw the moment when the panic hit his eyes and he broke out in a sweat.

“urmm. Urmm.. Yeah” he stuttered making my smile widen.

“Well don’t worry mate I’m sure you will find that special person, you might have already met them” I said smiling at Sam, making him just nod and advert his eyes away from me. I looked back at ben, who was looking at me like I was on drugs. “I’ll explain later baby” I whispered in his ear and he just nodded.


	27. The tease that left me dumbstruck

Danny’s pov

At this present moment in time I was sitting bored out my mind in a small room backstage, at the venue we was going to be playing at in about…

two hours.

On any other day I would be in the tour bus or out getting pissed or something but no, my tour manager made us leave way too early so that we could sit around back stage for hours. And to make it even better I didn’t have ben to distract me, no because he was off with Cameron doing stuff with guitars, leaving me to sit by myself bored out of my mind. Well that was until I was being talked on the sofa by Matt Good and Andy Biersack, who was now lying on top of me.

“Urmm hey guys, a simple hello would have done it” I said in annoyed voice because I really wasn’t in the mood for two fully grown men who had the brain power on five years old, well any other day would have been fine but just not today.

“Aww what’s wrong with my wlittle Danny” matt said while grabbing my nose, yes I really wasn’t in the mood for these two. I gave them my best ‘fuck off before I rip your balls off look’ which somehow failed since they were both still sitting on me.

“Come on mate, your face looks like the back end of a cow, so come on smile” Andy said smiling down at me. And in return I scowled. “Is it because ben isn’t here” Andy said breaking out into laughter joined my matt. Oh yes I hadn’t actually told any one other that the band officially about me and ben, so whatever people knew is what they had been told including these two twats. “Why didn’t you tell us” Andy carried on with the questions.

“tell you about what” I answered trying to look like I had no idea what they was going on about, however the thing is I’m a shit actor, well that and I couldn’t help smiling.

“Hmm how the one about you loving cock” Andy quickly shot back, the blunt twat

“And more importantly you love bens cock” matt added on, causing another round of laughter from the two, who by the way are still sitting on me.

“Yeah I still don’t know what you two are going on about” I said stopping their laugher.

Ben came waltzing in through the door at that moment , great so this whole not knowing what you’re talking about thing was up.

“Hey do you want me to come back later or…” ben asked while standing awkwardly in the door way.

“No baby come and join the more the better” I said adding a wink at the end, ben blushed adorably.

“Quick run Andy before they start having buttsex “matt said with mock shock while he grabbed hold of Andy and ran out the door, pushing ben to the side. I started laughing along with ben. Once our laughter had died down I held open by arms beckoning ben towards me. Ben came and lay next to me in a spooning position.

“So I guess them two know” ben said with a little giggle, properly remembering there dramatic exist.

“I guess so, do you mind that?” I asked him. He turned around so he was now facing me.

“Of course I don’t, I’m proud of what we are and anyway after tonight everyone is going to know, so might as well get used to it” ben answered smiling . I leant forward and kissed his nose lightly.

“I’m proud of us two”

Me and ben spent the next hour and a half talking about what seemed like everything, it had been ages since we had been alone, alone like this with no one disturbing us and I liked it, I wish we could spend more moments like this, which of course I intended on making happen.

‘KNOCK, KNOCK’ someone started knocking on the door. “look I’m only knocking because matt and Andy said you was having buttsex and I didn’t exactly want to walk in on that happening, so anyway we got half hour so you got to be ready and shit Kay” Sam said from the other end of the door.

“Yeah course you didn’t want to see” I said with a chuckle since I was the only one that got the joke. “Anyway” I said clearing my throat “we will be ready don’t worry” I said, Sam didn’t answer but I knew he had left by the sound of his footsteps. I looked down at ben who had decided to nuzzle his head into my chest now “come on buddy, we got to get ready” I said shaking bens arm.

“But you so comfy, don’t want to move” ben said adorable.

“Well I promise I will still be comfy after the show, for you to carry on using me as pillow” I answered laughing.

“Mehh fine, but you better keep your promise” ben said starting ever so slowly to remove himself from me and into a standing position. He looked at me with an evil grin, then started removing his jacket and tee-shirt slowly as if he was doing a performance, next was his jeans which he seemed to take extra time undoing the belt, button and zipper. Which seem to take forever to do three simple things. This left him standing there in just his boxers but he wasn’t standing for long. As he walked towards me I could feel my heart beat speeding drastically up especially when he swung his legs one on either side of me, leaving us in a straddling position. His mouth started sucking at my neck just below my ear then slowly making its way down, ben was making sure to leave his mark however. Once ben was finished decorating my neck he pulled away and lifted my own top up.

“Ben we are supposed to be getting dressed” I said while being annoyed at myself for ruining my own moment.

“Danny are you complaining” ben asked.

“No of course not it’s just” I started but ben cut me off

“Well we are going to be getting dressed but first we have to get undressed” he answered with a mischievous look on his face.

“I love the way you think baby” I answered quickly then crashed mine and bens lips together, It was sloppy I will admit but things were heating up, there was no time for slow in these moments. My pants were becoming incredibly uncomfortable with the amount of grinding ben was doing, he detached his mouth from mine and started sucking hard as he made a trail going down my body, he stopped once he got to the band of my jeans.

“There is definably too many clothes going on in this equation” ben said while starting to quickly undo my jeans and yanking them down along with my boxers. Which left me and my very large member exposed. Ben looked pleased with himself.

“Is this all for me, you shouldn’t have” was all he said before the shot of pleasure shot through my whole body, bens mouth was at tip of my cock, making teasing circular movements while licking up the pre-cum.

“Ben stop being such a tease” I just managed to get out. And with that ben took me whole in his mouth, I tilted my head back the pleasure was amazing. He started of slowly but once I looked down again I could see his speed was getting faster. His head bobbing at a fast speed now. My body was starting to shake. “Baby…I’m..gonna” and before I could finish my warning I came fast in bens mouth. He swollen all off It then came back up to face me still licking his lips. “Wow” was all I could choke out, ben sill had a grin on his face.

“Are you two nearly done” James shouted from outside the door.

“Yeah just give us five” ben shouted back, properly knowing I couldn’t form a sentence, “I’m going toilet to get cleaned up, so you just get dressed in here okay” ben said while placing a kiss on my cheek before grabbing his stuff and walking off to the toilets.

While I was left dumbstruck.

Ben’s pov

I headed off to the toilet very pleased with myself, I had finally been in control with mine and Danny’s sex life, usually It was Danny but no, not tonight I left him defenceless, which I loved since it had never happened before even when I went with girls they always seemed to have more control over everything than I did.

My train of thoughts was interrupted suddenly as I was pulled into one of the rooms “what the…” I went to question the person but stopped suddenly as I looked into them icy blue eyes and my heart stopped beating.


	28. Stupid motherfucking twat

Bens pov

“What.. What yyou doing …here” I managed to get out but I wished I hadn’t as Todd’s palm collided with my face.

“Did I give you permission to speak, bitch” Todd replied, I shook my head not daring to open my mouth. “Good you’re remembering how to act, so anyway I’m here to get what is rightly mine, which if you can’t figure it out.

Is your sorry ass. So after you little show thingy, you are to come straight out the back where I will meet you and then we can go back to how everything was okay” Todd said finishing with an evil grin spreading across his face. He shoved my back up against the wall, he grabbed my crouch.

“And if you’re thinking of running or telling your little friends, don’t bother because I’ll be watch and I will get you, whatever it takes” Todd said, I felt the tears starting to slid down my face now. “so you understand what you have to do” he asked me. I quickly started nodding my head until another sharp slap hit my face. “I asked you a fucking question bitch”.

“I’m s-s-sorry, I unders-s-stand” I quickly replied.

“Good now fuck off” Todd said then moved a few inches away before pushing me out the door. I thought it was all over with him, I’m such a twat for thinking it, once you got involved with people like him that was it they would always somehow pull you back in. what am I going to do I couldn’t tell the guys what if Todd hurt them.

No I’ll just go with him, least this way I’m the only one getting hurt.

I wondered back down the corridor not even bothering to get changed and walked straight to the stage where I picked up my guitar and waited by the side. I was in my own little world until I got pulled out by a hand gripping onto my shoulder. I shot around expecting to see Todd but instead I meet the face of Sam, who was smiling warmly at me.

“Heya mate, can I urmm talk to you after the show tonight’s, it’s like really important” Sam said with a worried expressions covering his face. I knew that I wouldn’t be here tonight but Sam didn’t have to know that, so I just nodded.

“Of course, why what’s it about?” I asked.

“Well I sort of like someone and well I need help but I’ll explain it all later” he replied

“Yeah sure” I said before Sam walked off to get his guitar. Of course it was only relationship advice that Sam need, I wonder why he needs my help since I like dudes and not girls and even when I went with girls I just fucked them and nothing more. 

I went back to my disturbing thoughts after a while; thoughts about what would happen once Todd tuck me? And would I ever get to see the guys again?

Would I ever get to see Danny more importantly?

All these thoughts were rushing through my head at 100 miles per hour, until someone pushed me onto the stage that is.

I stumbled around stage for a bit, I even got some of the cords wrong, I just couldn’t think straight. The guys kept looking at me strange, I think they knew something was up, but I guess that’s all they will ever know after tonight.

I scanned the crowd until I found him at the side just standing there will that same evil smirk placed on his lips and for the rest of the show that’s all I could look at.

“So before we play our last song tonight we have a little announcement” Danny said into the microphone as he walked over to me, since I hadn’t moved the whole way through the show. He placed his arm around my waist, forcing me to break eye contact with Todd; Danny smiled sweetly down at me.

“well you may have seen a lot of stuff about me and ben being together recently in the press, well guys it’s all fucking true, we are fucking together and I could be more happy” Danny said a huge grin spreading across his face.

“I love you” Danny said, looking deep into my eyes and at that moment I forgot about all the shit happening and I knew that he really meant those words.

“I love you so fucking much too Danny” and with that our lips crashed together, in a long kiss. I could hear the crown going wild cheering for us.

“Whoa, whoa, come on guys let’s keep this PG eh” James said laughing. Me and Danny broke apart and he started singing the last song of the night, I looked back at the crowd and where Todd had been but he wasn’t there no more, I quickly scanned the crowd a few more times. He was gone, he was properly waited for me round the back and with that thought the song finished and I was being dragged off the stage by Danny.

Once we got off the stage Danny spun me abound and put me at arm’s length.

“What the fuck happened tonight” he asked

“Nothing I just got a lot going on in my head, is all” I answered trying to convince him. Danny’s head hung low now.

“Who was you looking for in the crowd then” he asked with a sad voice.

“What… no one” I answered a little too quickly

“Don’t fucking lie to me ben, I admitted to everyone tonight that I loved you, don’t you understand. And well I thought you felt the same bu”

“He’s here” I said cutting Danny off midsentence. I stared deeply into Danny’s eyes trying to make him understand.

“What do you mean? Who’s hear ben?” Danny asked looking totally confused.

“Todd, He’s here to collect me” I said breaking out in to tears “but I don’t want to go, I don’t want to leave you” I said, Danny pulled me into a hug resting his own head on top of mine.

“You not going fucking anywhere you understand me” Danny said, and I did believe him because I knew he would let anyone hurt me.

“Now come on we are going to get the guys and teach this motherfucking twat who thinks he can take my baby away from be a fucking lesson” Danny said and soon I was being pulled down the hall ways and into one of the back rooms where everyone was getting ready for a good night well that was going to change quite drastically.


	29. Sharp objects against skin

Bens pov

‘Me, Danny, Sam, James and Cameron all headed out the back door, to as Danny put it ‘teach this motherfucking twat a lesson’.

James threw open the back door revealing Todd standing there with about five other guys, they all looked like some creepy murder sort of people. My eyes quickly locked with Todd’s, I could see the anger in them. I broke the eyes contact quickly and turned to Danny.

“We should leave, I have a bad feeling about this” I told him because this whole situation was like something out of a movie, and we defiantly were the guys that lost and ended up all getting killed.

“Shhh baby it’s going to be okay” Danny said trying to reassure me, fat chance there. Two of the big murderous looking men came walking towards me “come on kid” the one said as he went to grab my arm.

And that’s when it all happened when Danny pushed the guy away and then punched him square in the nose. People from both sides started at each other, to begin with our side was wining well that was until them other twats pulled knifes out.

It’s quite hard to fight against people with knifes you see because they have sharp objects that can cut you into pieces. Me being the dumbass that I am, went to tackle one of the men but failed miserably when he wacked me over the head, leaving me to fall to the ground and slowly be consumed by darkness.’

‘Beep…Beep…beep’

What the fuck is that noise I thought as I slowly came around, my eyes shot open when I remembered the night before.

I was met by a white celling, I turned my head the left and was met by a white wall this time I quickly turned to the left hoping so she what I seeked the most would be there and thank fuck, there he was. I went to speak when I noticed that he was fast asleep, his head slouching to the side and his mouth slightly open and well his eyes was closed. 

“Danny” I said and his eyes shot open.

“Ben” Danny said as he shot up out of his seat and chucked his arms around me pulling me as close as he could “are you okay baby” I nodded into his shoulder.

“Where is everyone” I asked since the room was empty, at this Danny pulled back and put me at arm’s length.

“Well last night after you had blacked out, one of the guys came to get you but James ran at him and well the guy had a knife “


	30. Disaster strikes when love comes knocking

Sam’s pov

‘We were finally back to kicking these guys asses, even though they had the advantages of knifes, we were somehow beating them.

I was busy with a guy who I had in a head lock and was repeatedly kneeing him in the head when it happened. It seemed like someone had put the whole situation into slow motion.

I looked around at the other guys they were all doing their thing (kicking some ass) when I got to ben he was lying on the floor with his eyes closed. Then I saw one of the big ugly fuckers stalking towards him, I went to go help but that’s when I saw James, he was running at the guy. The guy must of heard him coming because when James was only a few feet away he turned around but James didn’t stop he just kept going and then the guys right arms came into view and the shiny object glistened in the slow light.

I screamed for James to stop, but he didn’t hear me and ran straight into the man and his little shiny friend.

An evil grin spread across the man’s face, as James dropped onto his knees, he pulled the knife out of him and ran along with the rest of the twats.

James body fell to the floor as he stated screaming. I dropped the guy I had in a head lock and ran to him, I knelt down and put his head in my lap. His eyes were stating to flutter shut.

“No, no come on keep them open” I begged him, “don’t you dare fucking leave me okay” I said.

“CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE” I shouted, knowing all eyes were on us now.

“See helps going to be here any minute okay” I told James rubbing his cheek, trying to keep him awake. I looked down at the stab wound the blood was pouring out of it now. “Shit cam, come put pressure on it will you” cam came rushing over and did what I asked straight away.

I looked back at James now his eyes were staying open a bit more.

“Sam I need to tell you something” James said trying to catch his breath.

“What?” I said leaning in closer

“I love you” then his eyes shut and didn’t reopen.

“No, no don’t you fucking dare leave like that. James come on I love you too, I love you so fucking much and I wish I said it before but just please don’t leave me” I said to James body and the tears started sliding down my cheeks and the sound of the sirens came.


	31. Alone

Ben’s pov

“w-what do you mean, is James okay, oh my god this is all my fault” at this Danny pulled me into a hug.

“Shhhh no baby, it’s not your fault. It’s those bastards fault” Danny said hugging me to him tightly.

“Where is James please tell me he’s okay” I asked desperately. Feeling the tears starting to run down my cheeks.

“He’s in theatre, but the doctors are not sure if he will make it, even after the operation” Danny said. “I feel so sorry for Sam”. My head shot up from Danny’s chest.

“Why just Sam” I asked really confused now.

“Well he likes James doesn’t he, he basically declared his love for him when he got stabbed, it was quite cute really” Danny said smiling down at me.

“Oh my god I knew it, the twat has been so moppy recently and that’s why, oh god I’ve basically gone and killed the person Sam loves”

“Hey” Danny said tilting my head up to meet his eyes “none of this is your fault okay, and Sam won’t blame you at all”. I went to argue back but Danny crashed his lips to mine, it was sloppy and desperate. We pulled apart for breath “I thought I had lost you, don’t you fucking scare me like that again” Danny said.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy” I replied and peaked him on the lips while grabbed his hand “now let’s go find Sam and cam”

Sam’s pov

I kept James pulled closely to me until the ambulance finally arrived, they pulled his lifeless body out of my arms and onto a stretcher and into the ambulance, cam picked me off the flour

“Come on you, go with him” he said smiling at me and pushed me into the ambulance.

I sat there blocking out the whole world just me and James, his face looked so peaceful but then I looked the rest of him he was covered in blood, it just kept spilling out of him, never-ending.

We reached the hospital; the paramedics flew out of the ambulance pulling the stretcher/bed with James on with them. I ran after them until I was stopped by a doctor say I wasn’t aloud any further and told me to go wait. James was all alone now and so was I.

I felt more alone than ever before.


	32. Forever

Bens pov

“Sam” I shouted as I ran into his awaiting arms, he nuzzled his head into my neck. “Is there any news” I asked

“No, he’s still in theatre I think” Sam replied with his face still in my chest, we stayed like that for a while until Sam lifted his head “but Urmm how are you”

“I’m good, don’t worry about me” I said smiling.

We finally all went and sat down together in the waiting room, none of us said anything we just sat there staring into space.

“Who’s with Mr James cassells” a doctor said as he came into the waiting room, we all jumped to our feet and went over to him. “Okay so all of you are” he asked, we replied by all nodding our heads. “Okay so James has just come out of theatre, the doctors have managed to stop the bleeding and stich him up, but they don’t know what’s going to happen through the night” the doctor said.

“S-s-so he alive” Sam stuttered in a shaken voice.

“Yes, he hasn’t woken up yet though” the doctor confirmed.

“Thank God” Sam said leaning into my side for support.

“Can we see him please” Sam asked with pleading eyes.

“Well are any of you family”

“No we are his band mates, and since we are on tour none of his family are even in the same country” Danny replied.

“Oh okay well you can go down but he isn’t awake yet” the doctor replied with a smile “and will one of you be staying with him tonight”

“I will” Sam answered immediately.

“Okay I will inform the nurses” he replied before walking off after directing us to James.

…

Dannys pov

Sam was the first through the door of James room followed by the rest of us. He went straight to the side of his bed and picked up his hand.

“When do you think he will wake up” cam asked looking at James broken body.

“Any time now” ben said smiling at Sam “I’m sure”

“Excuse me” a woman said as she popped her head around the door “I’m sorry but visiting hours were over a while ago” she said in a quiet voice.

“Of course sorry” I replied smiling at her then turning back to James and Sam.

“Well we got to go mate but we will be here first thing in the morning okay” ben said as he hugged Sam Followed by cam who did the same.

I walked over to Sam next and pulled him into a hug and whisper into his ear

“it’s all going to be alright, okay” I felt some tears running down the side of Sam’s face “just be strong for him and remember what he told you okay” I said then pulled back grinning now. Sam was displaying a small smile.

“Thanks mate” Sam said as he wiped his tears away.

“Okay we going, anything in particular you want us to bring tomorrow” ben asked.

“Just some clothes will be good and some for Sam, because don’t think he will be to happy having to go home in a hospital dress” Sam said making us all laugh.

We left soon after that. Heading back to the tour bus it was going to be along night for everyone.

…

As soon as we got into the tour bus cam went straight to his bunk before collapsing in it and after a few minutes we heard light snores. I sat down on the couch followed by ben who curled up in my lap. We didn’t say anything until I felt bens tears soaking my t shirt. I lifted his chin.

“Baby what’s wrong” I asked

“It’s j-j-just, w-why must e-everything fuck u-up all the t-t-t-time” ben answered stuttering. I placed a slow kiss to his forehead

“I don’t know, but we need to be strong at the moment okay for Sam and James yeah” ben nodded his head in understanding. We stayed in silence for a while longer after that.

“Danny will you promise me something” ben asked in a small voice like he was scared.

“Anything baby”

“Promise you will never leave me alone, like even if we don’t stay together, together. Just promise me that you will always be there” ben asked not looking at me once.

“I promise that I will never leave you” I answered kissing him on the head again “and anyway I will always love you” this made ben look up, I quickly stole a kiss. Then we broke apart for a breath.

“Forever”


	33. My body tells me no, but I won't quit because I want more

James pov

I was surrounded by darkness, every part of my body felt heavy, with pain shooting everywhere. 

My eyelids felt way heavier than usual as I tried to open them however after a few tries they cooperated at opened. Once they was open I took in my surroundings, I was I was fully white room and in a hospital bed, with fucking loads of machines around me and attracted to me, just bleeping away. And then the most perfect man sitting in a chair next to me holding my hand, his eyes shut and his mouth open a bit, he look so adorable, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Sam” I said shaking his hand a bit. His eyes started to flutter and the biggest smile erupted on his face, which made me smile even more. He jumped up from his seat next.

“Thank god, you’re okay. I thought you was dead you twat” I could see Sam was more scared than angry.

“I’m sorry, and there’s me thinking you wanted rid of me” I said in my mock hurt voice.

“Never, so don’t you fucking dare leave okay” Sam now looked on the brick of tears, with his eyes already filling with tears.

“Your such a dickhead I’m not going to leave you, when you need me the most, now stop standing there and hug me” Sam didn’t waste any time he quickly awkwardly hugged me since It hurt to move, so it was basically him lying his head on my chest with my arm round his side. It felt all too right thought like we belonged together but it didn’t last long since Sam pulled away and straightened up looking even more awkward now.

It funny how you can somehow fall in love with a person you have known for years, like one day their just a person, yes a person who means a lot to you but never more, and then the next their someone you can’t live without, you feel like if they’re not with you, you’ll just crumble to the floor and die, that life would not be worth living without them. Isn’t that strange how it can just happen like that. Well that’s what happened with me and Sam…

A few weeks back Sam was my friend and band mate, that’s all I saw him as nothing else.

Well why would I?

Up until then I’d never looked at another guy like I do him, I thought I was straight. But then one day I looked at him and butterflies erupted in my stomach, I felt like everything would be okay if I was just near him, if he just let me touch him lips with my own. I forgot everyone around me and for once Sam my friend and band mate was the most important person ever. He just seemed like pure perfection the way he moved on stage was memorising, just everything he did I couldn’t help but watch. I knew I’d never have a chance with him since he was also straight but that didn’t stop me from wanted him. I realised just how much I wanted him after I finally started watching Ben and Danny, just how they acted with each other. So caring and loving which each other, which just seemed weird with two guys, the caring and loving part was usually what the girl did in the relationship while the guy just went along with it. But somehow they both showed it with each other. They just loved being around each other two, you couldn’t seem to separate them and that was well just really sweet and it made me realise that I was in fact in love with Sam.

So when I got stabbed the other day and I thought I was going to die well I had to tell him, he had the right to know that one of his closest friends was in love with him.

“You going to sit back down or carry on look like an awkward twat?” I asked him smiling. He never replied just took his seat again.

“Urmm how you feeling, shit I should call the nurse and the guys, I promised id call when you woke up and”

“Shhh stop worrying about everything, I’m okay for the moment anyway. Without nurses fussing over me and I’m sure the guys can wait a bit longer. I Urmm, I need to talk to you” as soon as I said it he dropped his smile and his head lowered so he was no longer looking at me.

“I knew you didn’t mean it, I just kept fooling myself. You properly thought I was someone else; getting stabbed has got to so some weird shit to you. So it’s okay” Sam said not looking at me once.

“You are such an idiot” I replied, well that soon made his head shoot up.

“What, what have I done now?” he asked looking at worried.

“You think me getting stabbed would make me somehow tell you I love you, now stop being a dick and open you ears. I fucking love you Sam and I’m not bleeding to death so that must only mean one thing” I finished with a huge smile. But I didn’t get the reaction off Sam that I was hoping for instead of him jumping on me and him saying I love you back instead he just lowered his head again.

“Don’t mess with me James, not with something like this? Not something that’s important to me” Sam said with a few tears falling onto his lap. I reached out my hand and pulled his chin up so he was now looking at me; I started wiping his tears away.

“I would never do something that would hurt you okay, and I mean it I love you I have for a while. I didn’t think you liked me so I kept quiet but then I saw Danny and ben and just how much I wanted someone like that, how much I wanted you. So when I got stabbed I thought I was going to die and well I just needed to tell you.” I said as I wiped the last tear away. “Please believe me”

“You’re not fucking with me?” I shook my head and smiled. “Oh my god you are the biggest twat ever I’ve been in love with you for ages and then there’s you claiming you all straight and oh I hate you” Sam said also smiling.

“I love you two, now get here” I said has I pulled his face to meet mine and finally our lips touched and firework and rainbows happened. His lips were soft and pure heaven, I wanted to kiss them forever and never leave them.

“SAM!!”

Oh shit no, me and Sam quickly pulled away and looked towards the door. And there in all the glory…

“Brandi”


	34. I wish my eyes could un-see

James pov 

“James what the fuck are you doing” Brandi started screaming at us. “Your fucking gay and you’ve been fucking me and oh no and him”

“What no, I haven’t been fucking Sam”

“So what have you been doing, wait no I don’t want to know, you dirty twat” wow she looked mad.

“Okay look just stop shouting, you’re not helping the situation” Sam said walking towards Brandi with his hands up.

“Oh, and you! Do you like going around taking peoples STRAIGHT boyfriends. You dirty whore” she shouted in Sam’s face.

“fuck you Brandi, and stop shouting at him it’s not his fault” I shouted back at her, “ahh” pain shot through my body, Sam was back at my side in seconds, hovering his hands over my torso. I smiled at him then looked back at Brandi who was still standing in the doorway. “What you even doing here anyway?”

“I got a call saying you had been shot and they wasn’t sure if you would make it, so I caught the first flight out” she answered looking at her feet “don’t you love me” she asked still not looking up.

I looked over at Sam who seemed to have come very interested in the floor. “I still care about you I’m just not in love with you anymore”

“Okay, I hope you okay I’m going to go now” she said finally looking at me; she had tears in her eyes now. “Just look after him okay” she said before she walked out the door before I could say anything else.

…

Ben’s pov

The first thing I realised when I woke up was Danny; he was lying behind me with his hand roaming over my torso. Are legs were intertwined and he was pressing light kisses to my neck and shoulder, the moment felt perfect.

“Morning”

“Morning beautiful” Danny said into my shoulder. He then repeated kissing my neck and shoulders until I could feel the bruises forming.

“Want to ease up back there?” I asked and could feel Danny’s smile on my shoulder straight away.

“No way, want everyone to see your mine” he answered before he carried on with the kissing which had turned into more sucking than anything.

“Oh and when did I become the girl in this” I said but before I could say any more Danny had me flipped on to my back with him hovering over me.

“Me” kiss “because you” kiss “look so good” kiss “under” kiss “me” Danny said with a cheeky smirk placed firmly on his lips. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled his face toward my own, our lips cashed together. And now the moment was perfect.

“WOAHHH, woahh” me and Danny both looked up to see Cameron standing in the doorway to the living area “just no! I don’t want to see that this early, on the couch as well, do you know you have beds for a reason, and do you know that reason is?”

“To fuck” Danny replied, and the smirk was back.

“Just shut it, are you coming hospital now or fucking each other” Cameron asked ready to fun for the door if it was the second option.

“Yeah we will come now, just give us a sec” Danny said, Cameron nodded before he went to wait outside. One he was gone Danny looked back down to me.

“Hey” I said quietly

“Hey, so you know to night want to like go out?” Danny asked looking nervous all of a sudden.

“Sure thing but why?” I asked with a giggle because he looked more adorable than usual at the moment.

“Well we haven’t really been on a real date yet, so tonight I’m going to take you out to some fancy restaurants and we going to do date stuff”

“Do you even know what to do on a date?” I asked because Danny didn’t seem like the whole date type, he was more of a fuck them sort.

“Yeah been on a few before” Ohh so he has been on dates, who knew. “But you’re going to me my first date where I actually like the person and want to be there with them thought”

“And when did you become all sweet and romantic then?” I asked making Danny go red.

“Since I met you” and with that he go off me looked down at me sprawled out on the couch. “Now come on beautiful” he said as he pulled me up.

…

“I hate hospital” I said nuzzling into Danny side as we walked through the corridor to James room. “Everyone looks at me like they know what I did to myself” I said wrapping my arms around myself trying to cover my already covered arms.

“No one knows baby” Danny said putting his arm around my waist and trying to pull me closer. As we reached James room the door was already open and Brandi was standing in the door way, and just then she turned around, tears were running down her face as she quickly pushed past us and walked off.

“What the fuck” Danny said as I pulled him into the room. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I sorter just broke up with her” James said not taking him eyes of sam.

“Urmm why?” Danny asked, and really it was so obvious.

“Because I don’t love her anymore, I Urmm like someone else” James said going a bit red, which made Sam smile and lower his head.

“Ohh so you and Sam finally confessed you dying love for each other and going to fuck each other like rabbits” Danny said with his cheeky smirk. Everyone’s mouth was hanging open and just looking at his because wow that was blunt. I looked over and James and Sam who’s faces were now both flaming red.

“Not again with the mental images guys” Cameron said as he dropped into a chair.


	35. Cute surprise

After a few week James was let out the hospital and we were all back on the tour bus and heading to Paris, to play our last show before Christmas, and then we was going back home for two weeks before we was back on the road again.

“Why must life hurt so much” James groaned from his place on the sofa, which he had been doing for the last hour.

“James you’re not even doing anything” Cameron said from next to me, “so shhh and just watch the TV or sleep or something”

“Because I can’t stand watching another fucking Christmas movie and everything hurts too much to sleep” James started moaning again.

“Why don’t you just ask Sam to fuck you, least then you’ll have something to acutely moan about” Danny shouted as he walked into the room and winked at James.

“Oh my god Danny please shut up” I shouted at him.

“Ooo you going to make me baby” he teased as he picked me up off the sofa and then sat in my seat pulling me down with him. So I was now sitting in his lap. Why do I always end up sitting on him?

“Your such a bottom deny” James said grinning.

“What the fuck no I’m not, and even if I was I wouldn’t mind because who wouldn’t want to be under the hot piece of ass, but I’m still not!” Danny said with a scowl.

“Aww is someone in denial, poor little Danny” James teased.

“okay if you lot are finished talking about fucking each other, we are here so come on you’ve got sound check and then you’ve got some press to do, so come on” our tour manager told us, “hang on where Sam?”

“Sleeping, I’ll go get him” James said as he headed off to the bunks.

“And no fucking around with each other were on a tight schedule” 

“Hehe you said fucking and tight in the same sentence” Danny started giggling.

“SHUT IT DANNY!” everyone shouted in union.

…

 

Danny’s pov

The whole day dragged so much, all we did was interview after interview, they were all so boring! Just the same questions repeated over and over again. And along with the same boring questions we also had James constant moaning about how shitty life was and how everything hurt so much, then there was also the fact that people didn’t understand my comedy gold, but fuck then all, especially ben, I’d like to fuck him the most. However that can wait since I’ve got something special planed for tonight after the show; I just hope that he likes it.

…

“5 minutes guys” someone shouted as we all waited back stage, everyone seemed really nervous since this was our first show after James got stabbed, but I wasn’t, I knew the guys would all go great like they always did. I was more nervous about after the show, and what I had in store for me and Ben.

“Come on baby, we’ve got a show to play” ben said before he kissed me on the cheek and skipped off towards the stage. Fucking adorable is what that boy is.

The show went amazing James played the drums perfect as always and the others were equally as amazing, me and ben messed around a bit on stage, which was normal but now everyone knew the truth now, which made it seem even more real. But it was all over way two soon, and we was all backstage chilling with a couple of beers, I needed them to keep my nerves down.

“Baby, come on” I whispered in his ear, and grabbed his hand, pulling him up with me.

“Where we going Danny?”

“It’s a surprise” I said as I pulled him down the corridors and out the back doors and quickly into the waiting taxi. It was a twenty minute drive to the destination. When we were five minutes away I tuned to ben that was silently looking out the window at the sights.

“Baby, can I put a blind fold on you” I asked him, scared of his answer. His face shot around to face me, he was already looking worried.

“Urmm… Why, why would you want to do that?”

“Baby nothing, it’s just I got a surprise for you, that’s it” I said and he finally nodded. I put the blind fold on, and we finally reached our destination, I held both of bens hands as I helped him out of the taxi and started walking him forward. I stood behind and said into his ear, “were here baby” and then I took the blind fold off. He blinked his eyes a few times then looked up.

“Oh my god were at the Eiffel tower, that’s so cute” ben squealed and before I could replied he grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the queue.

It took a while but we finally got to the top, and it was absolutely beautiful, ben was smiling so much, it was too adorable.

“Danny this is the best surprises ever, thank you” he said as he chucked his arms around my neck and held me in a tight hug.

“This isn’t the whole surprise baby, I Urmm I’ve got something to ask you” I said as I dug my hands into my pocked and felt the object that had been placed in there for weeks now. As I slip down onto one knee, Bens eyes started watering as the biggest smile spread across his perfect face.

“Will you…


	36. Voulez vous couche avec moi? C’est soir?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So haven’t updated this fanfic in forever… literally, really sorry but yeah here it is, basically my friend loren has done this chapter, go follow her - http://thatssojoffrey.tumblr.com/ - shes absolutly amazing and well shes a secret Mexican so you sort of have to like her ;) xxx enjoy xxx

Danny’s POV

 

“Oh my God, yes Danny of course I’ll marry you” Ben squealed as tears started running freely down his face. I stood up and caught Ben just as he jumped onto me, latching his legs around my waist.

 

“You really have made me the happiest man alive Ben, I love you so much!” I said. Ben stared into my eyes.

 

“I love you to Danny.” He said, before crashing his lips to mine, he ran his tongue along my bottom lip, making me part them, his tongue slipped into my mouth dancing with mine, I grabbed his firm arse as I held him up. He let out a loud moan as I began to massage his cheeks roughly. I could feel Danny junior become excited as my jeans grew tighter. I broke off the kiss and leant my forehead against Ben’s, both of us breathing heavily.

 

“Urmm as Romanic as it would be, let’s not fuck on the top of the Eiffel Tower.” I spoke between pants making Ben giggle.

 

“Put me down then Mr. Fiancé.” He giggled l let Ben down and grabbed his hand.

 

“Come on then Princess,” I teased, “I have a lovely surprise for you.”

 

“I told you not to call me that.” He mumbled as I dragged him towards the long flight of stairs.

 

…

 

Ben’s POV

 

“Are we there yet?” I enquired, I was curious as to where we were going; as soon as we’d got into the taxi Danny had wrapped a scarf around my eyes, depriving me of my sight. The blindfold made me slightly uncomfortable, but I trusted Danny with all my heart.

 

“Just a few minutes Princess.”

 

“Danny you know I hate surprises!”

 

“I know you do Princess”

 

“How long now?”

 

“Not long Princess.”

 

“But Danny!”

 

“No ‘Buts’ Princess.”

 

“But~”

 

“Oh, would you look at that, we’re here!”

 

“Bitch.” I cursed under my breath. I heard Danny chuckle as he got out of the taxi, he’d obviously heard me. I then heard the sound of a door opening and felt myself being lifted out of the car. “Seriously Danny, I love you and everything but where the fuck are we?” It was then when I felt the blindfold being lifted from my eyes; I blinked a few times my eyes adjusting to the light before looking up. Oh My GOD He’d taken me to a hotel!! And a fancy one at that!

 

Danny’s POV

 

I wanted this night to be perfect so of course I booked a room at the most expensive hotel that I could afford. The cost didn’t bother me though; I’d go to the ends of the earth for my Ben.

 

I watched him as he took in the view of the hotel; an amazed expression masked his face. I couldn’t help but think how lucky I am; what did I do to get an amazing fiancé like Ben?

 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, interrupting my thoughts; he was turned towards me sporting a confused expression.

 

“What did I do to deserve you?” I enquired.

 

“I don’t know.” He smirked, “I’m amazingly sexy and… well, then there’s you.”

 

“I love you too Princess.” I deadpanned, biting back the smile threatening to creep onto my lips.

 

“I’m Kidding Danny; you’re amazingly sweet, and kind and loving. You’re everything a guy could want.” I could hear the honesty in Ben’s voice and that made me love him even more. I grabbed his arm pulling him towards me and crashed my lips down on his.

 

“Now Princess, Let’s go get you that surprise.”

 

I carried Ben bridal style up to the hotel room; I’d booked this especially for us and my nerves were all over the place, what if he didn’t like it? What if he left and never saw me again? I hadn’t realized that during my inner ramblings I had already made my way to the hotel room. For fuck’s sake Danny, get yourself together. Well, here goes nothing I thought as I set Ben down and unlocked the door.

 

As soon as we’d stepped inside Ben’s lips crashed into mine. “It’s perfect Danny; stop getting yourself all worked up.” I smiled, that was all I needed to hear.

 

I pulled him back to me and with my lips on his I guided him to the direction of the bed. I pushed Ben on it and then climbed on top of him, our mouths reattached I moved away from his mouth and began to kiss along his jaw and down his neck, sucking hard as I moved along it making sure I left my mark on his pale skin. I slowly kissed my way back up to his lips, our tongues battling in a passionate embrace. I pulled away from him and looked down at his fucking beautiful face he was staring up at me with a smile on his lips.

 

“Make love to me Danny.” He whispered

 

“Huh?”

 

“Danny, It means I want you inside me…NOW!” his words went straight to my cock making me instantly harder, a huge grin spread across my face as I grabbed hold of the hem of his shirt practically ripping it off him, and revealing his beautiful tattooed torso. I placed light kisses down his body until I got to the waistband of his jeans. I slowly unlatched the button and slid them down his legs, leaving him in nothing but his Boxers.

 

“You’re beautiful Ben.” I breathed out “So fucking beautiful!”

 

He sat up and kissed me hard, only breaking away to rip my own shirt off. I opened my mouth and tilted my head, deepening the kiss whilst Ben’s hands moved to my jeans. He made quick work of undoing the button and pulling them off me leaving both of us in just our underwear. His mouth moved back to mine and his hands travelled into my boxers, grasping my cock and pumping hard making me moan in appreciation. I forgot just how good he was at this.

 

He pushed me backwards and I felt the soft bed sheets against my back. Using his teeth he pulled off my boxers, the sensation of the fabric sliding over my stiff erection caused me to let out yet another moan of pleasure. After sliding them of me he began to slowly kiss up my legs, he always did love to tease me. Soon I felt his tongue swipe at the tip of my cock, lapping up the pre-cum that had already beaded at the top. I shoved my hands into his hair, impatient with the teasing and pushed his head downwards. He gave out a small chuckle before encasing my throbbing member with his mouth. I let out a loud groan of appreciation as he hollowed out his cheeks and began sucking and slurping.

 

I soon found myself beginning to reach my climax. Pulling his head away from my cock, I sat up and shook my head. “No more,” I murmured; he looked at me with a hurt expression on his face. “Don’t be sad baby,” I reassured him, “when I cum I want to be inside you that’s all”

 

Ben’s face instantly brightened. “Well then, we better make sure that happens soon lover boy!”

 

I growled ferociously and flipped him onto his back, positioning myself at his entrance. “Before we do this Ben, just know that I fucking love you.” I whispered.

 

He looked up at me, eyes filled with love. “I know Danny; I want you to know that I fucking love you too!”

 

With that I pushed myself inside him, his warmth enveloping me. I moaned. He was so fucking tight it took great strength not to cum straight away. I wanted to make this night pleasurable for Ben too! I began to buck my hips in a slow motion instigating moans from both of us. It felt so good!

 

“Oh God Danny faster! Please… go faster!” The loud moans from my lover was all I needed to be encouraged to pick up the pace. I began to rock my hips, going faster and deeper. Our moans grew louder by the second. I grabbed Ben’s cock and began pumping in time with each thrust of my hips. His moans turned into pleasured screams.

 

I felt him begin to tighten around me. I knew he was on the edge. “D-Danny! I… I’m about to!!” He screamed in ecstasy as he exploded all over his chest. The tightening of his cavity was enough to bring me to my own climax. I grunted loudly as I thrust deeply into him and spilled myself inside him. Fuck I felt amazing.

 

Panting heavily I eased myself out of him and lay down beside him on the giant bed. “I fucking love you Ben!” I breathed out for what felt like the millionth time.

 

“I fucking love you too Danny!” I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest. I felt invincible.

 

“Wanna go again?” Ben whispered seductively.

 

“Fuck yes!” I moaned before attaching my lips to his once more.

 

Ben’s POV

 

Three goes later and I was snuggled up to Danny’s chest taking a drag from a cigarette.

 

“Nothing beats a good Fag after good sex!” Danny moaned as he blew out a puff of smoke.

 

“I totally agree with you there baby!” I said taking another drag and discarding the ashes on the end of the cigarette in the Ash Tray situated on Danny’s chest. I looked over to the clock on the wall and saw that it was early morning. “Hey Danny?”

 

“Yeah Princess?”

 

“Do you wanna go on the balcony and watch the sunrise?” I asked

 

“Sure.” He smiled, “anything for my Ben.”

 

I smiled and climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of jeans before walking over to the balcony doors. I turned to look back at him “I love you Danny. I hope you know that.”

 

“I love you too Ben. Forever and always.”

**Author's Note:**

> heya  
> so yeah first chapter of brusnop fanfic hope you liked it, if you did please comment :D xx


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